Welcome to our new website!
Sept. 22, 2020

The Keys to Charisma

The Keys to Charisma

How to unlock the charisma in you!


In this episode, Minneapolis based Drag Queen, Lala Luzious discusses how charisma can be LEARNED and the keys to unlocking your charisma!   Snack Tip: Check out “The Charisma Myth” by Olivia Fox Cabane: https://www.amazon.com/Charisma-Myth-Science-Personal-Magnetism/dp/1591845947   Need another snack? Head on over to www.snacksizepodcast.com    If you are a new listener to Snack Size, we would love to hear from you! Don’t be afraid to say hello at lala@snacksizepodcast.com     Follow Snack Size: The Podcast on Twitter: @podcast_snack  Follow Lala on Instagram: @lalaluzious      _____________   Intro and Interlude Music for "Snack Size"  is Foxistence (Instrumental) by DayFox https://soundcloud.com/dayfox
Transcript
WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.840 --> 00:00:05.519 Hey snacks, welcome to season two of snacks eyes, the podcast that will 2 00:00:05.519 --> 00:00:10.269 drag you into your most fabulous life. I'm your host, Rabba Lushes, 3 00:00:10.470 --> 00:00:14.390 also known as the snack of the twin cities, a drag queen that twirled 4 00:00:14.429 --> 00:00:18.710 her way into podcasting, and the rest is a dream come true, and 5 00:00:18.949 --> 00:00:25.420 that's exactly what this podcast is about, making your dreams happen for you fabulously. 6 00:00:25.899 --> 00:00:29.899 This season we are continuing our journey in finding out what makes a happy 7 00:00:30.019 --> 00:00:34.340 and fulfilled life, going places we've never been before. Don't forget that, 8 00:00:34.500 --> 00:00:38.689 when it comes to your potential, the sky is the limit and it's never 9 00:00:38.729 --> 00:00:42.369 a bad time to beat you are. Get you a snack, because your 10 00:00:42.450 --> 00:00:57.000 fabulous life starts now. Hey snacks, welcome back to snack size. For 11 00:00:57.200 --> 00:01:00.000 today's topic, I want to talk about what I call the magical key to 12 00:01:00.079 --> 00:01:04.109 success. Without this tool, I don't know where I'd be, as it 13 00:01:04.189 --> 00:01:10.909 has helped me advance in my career and my personal relationships as well. I 14 00:01:11.109 --> 00:01:14.909 call it a tool because, despite the fact that some people think you are 15 00:01:14.989 --> 00:01:19.900 born with or without it, it's actually something that everyone has, just not 16 00:01:19.099 --> 00:01:23.099 everyone may know how to use it. I'm going to give you a list 17 00:01:23.140 --> 00:01:27.019 of famous people and I want you to think about what they have in common. 18 00:01:29.019 --> 00:01:34.049 Actor Russell Brand, President Bill Clinton, CEO of Apple, Tim Cook, 19 00:01:34.730 --> 00:01:40.969 Designer Rob Moreen and singer beyonce. Now, the obvious answer is that 20 00:01:41.170 --> 00:01:45.769 they are all rich, talented and successful. But there is one other thing 21 00:01:46.010 --> 00:01:49.120 of all these people, and most people who are successful as they are, 22 00:01:49.519 --> 00:01:55.200 have in common, and that is charisma. All of the names I mentioned 23 00:01:55.239 --> 00:01:59.760 are some of the most charismatic people in the world. It doesn't matter what 24 00:01:59.920 --> 00:02:04.269 your goals are, charisma is an important part of your journey to success. 25 00:02:05.109 --> 00:02:09.150 While there are people who have been successful but don't have any charisma, it 26 00:02:09.349 --> 00:02:14.509 is a common trait by some of the most successful people this world has ever 27 00:02:14.669 --> 00:02:19.900 seen. Charisma doesn't fit into a box. It's not about economic status, 28 00:02:20.379 --> 00:02:25.699 style, professional title or even your personality. It's actually a social skill that 29 00:02:25.939 --> 00:02:30.569 is learned. And who better to teach you about charisma than a drag queen? 30 00:02:30.610 --> 00:02:35.409 Drag Queens been a lot of time on their look, but the truth 31 00:02:35.490 --> 00:02:39.610 is you have to have charisma to sell your brand. It's the unapologetic display 32 00:02:39.650 --> 00:02:45.919 of talent, creativity and charisma that really draws people in. Did you know 33 00:02:46.120 --> 00:02:50.960 that charisma has a great effect on how people perceive you. If you're charismatic, 34 00:02:51.360 --> 00:02:54.039 studies have shown that you may be perceived differently than you actually are. 35 00:02:54.800 --> 00:03:00.150 For example, charismatic people are perceived to be taller, more attractive, smarter 36 00:03:00.550 --> 00:03:06.789 and richer than they actually might be. It is all about drawing people into 37 00:03:06.830 --> 00:03:10.349 you, and today I want to tell you that you can draw people into 38 00:03:10.430 --> 00:03:15.460 your goals and dreams by unlocking your charisma. Before we get into how to 39 00:03:15.580 --> 00:03:21.580 unlock your charisma, let's talk a bit about what charisma is and why everyone 40 00:03:21.620 --> 00:03:25.780 has it. According to Olivia Fox Cobaine, author of book the Charisma Myth, 41 00:03:27.139 --> 00:03:31.490 there are three components to charisma. First is presence. Presence is the 42 00:03:31.569 --> 00:03:37.530 ability to stay in the moment. Life in the world are so full of 43 00:03:37.729 --> 00:03:43.280 distractions, but charismatic people are able to engage in whatever they are doing or 44 00:03:43.400 --> 00:03:47.039 whoever they are talking to and be in the moment. They aren't thinking about 45 00:03:47.159 --> 00:03:52.120 their long to do last or what is going to happen at work or home. 46 00:03:52.599 --> 00:03:54.710 They are just focused on the person or thing in front of them. 47 00:03:55.990 --> 00:04:02.590 Second is confidence. Charismatic people always project self confidence, even when they may 48 00:04:02.669 --> 00:04:09.349 be unsure. There is a saying that perception is reality, so people who 49 00:04:09.389 --> 00:04:14.180 project self confidence will find that people just assume that they have something to be 50 00:04:14.340 --> 00:04:18.300 confident about. This ties into what I've talked about when it comes to believing 51 00:04:18.339 --> 00:04:23.699 in yourself. If you don't believe in you, your dreams and that you 52 00:04:23.819 --> 00:04:29.329 can live a happy and fulfilled life, then others won't either. Projecting self 53 00:04:29.410 --> 00:04:32.769 confidence is key, and even if you may be unsure about something, you 54 00:04:32.889 --> 00:04:36.810 can always be confident in the fact that, with perseverance, it will work 55 00:04:36.850 --> 00:04:43.759 out. The third and final component is warmth. People like people who mean 56 00:04:43.879 --> 00:04:48.439 well and don't come off fake. Being a warm and kind person is really 57 00:04:48.680 --> 00:04:53.910 hard to fake. However, if you let good thoughts be your sword and 58 00:04:54.149 --> 00:04:58.110 shield, you will say in a mindset that is warm and that will come 59 00:04:58.149 --> 00:05:01.509 out in your interactions with others. Side Note, if you want to know 60 00:05:01.670 --> 00:05:05.269 how to make good thoughts your sword and shield, check out episode two of 61 00:05:05.550 --> 00:05:11.180 Season One, and I explain it all and more so. I mentioned that 62 00:05:11.660 --> 00:05:15.699 many people think charisma is something that you either have or you don't, but 63 00:05:15.939 --> 00:05:21.129 the truth is charisma is either something you learned or you didn't. You learn 64 00:05:21.170 --> 00:05:26.529 charisma from a very young age, just like learning to walk or talk. 65 00:05:27.329 --> 00:05:31.250 If you struggle with being charismatic, chances are the people you were around during 66 00:05:31.290 --> 00:05:36.600 your formative years we're not charismatic as well. However, it's not until you 67 00:05:36.680 --> 00:05:42.240 are much older that you start to recognize the charisma and others, and, 68 00:05:42.439 --> 00:05:46.160 because so much time is past, we think that it's something people are just 69 00:05:46.360 --> 00:05:50.069 born with or without. Just because you didn't pick up on charisma as a 70 00:05:50.149 --> 00:05:55.790 child doesn't mean you can't now. It is a social skill that can be 71 00:05:55.870 --> 00:06:00.910 learned at any age. Think of it like cooking. Some people are much 72 00:06:00.949 --> 00:06:03.819 better than others, but everybody kind of knows how to do it. They 73 00:06:03.860 --> 00:06:09.579 at least know how to make a delicious snack. Charisma is the same way. 74 00:06:10.180 --> 00:06:14.860 Even just a little bit of charisma goes a long way. There are 75 00:06:14.899 --> 00:06:18.889 a few ways I have found effective to make yourself seem more charismatic. To 76 00:06:19.009 --> 00:06:24.610 be perfectly honest, I have always had a lot of charisma and it comes 77 00:06:24.649 --> 00:06:28.850 so naturally to me I don't think about it. So making a list of 78 00:06:28.930 --> 00:06:32.399 what I feel make someone charismatic was a challenge, but I think I've nailed 79 00:06:32.439 --> 00:06:38.319 down a few key things you can do to unlock your charisma. First, 80 00:06:38.639 --> 00:06:42.639 is to listen, as I talked about with my friend Taylor in the first 81 00:06:42.720 --> 00:06:46.959 episode of this season. We've lived in a world where people just talk at 82 00:06:46.079 --> 00:06:50.470 each other. It's really difficult to find a good listener in the fast paced 83 00:06:50.550 --> 00:06:57.189 world we live in, but charismatic people listen with intent and value the thoughts 84 00:06:57.230 --> 00:07:00.779 of other people. So many people think that being charismatic is about what you 85 00:07:00.819 --> 00:07:05.819 do or say, and sometimes it is, but that isn't all of it. 86 00:07:06.660 --> 00:07:11.699 People need to feel you are listening and relating to them. This actually 87 00:07:11.819 --> 00:07:16.050 brings me to my second key to charisma, which is be relatable. Charismatic 88 00:07:16.129 --> 00:07:21.050 people find a common ground with others. A great example is this podcast. 89 00:07:21.569 --> 00:07:25.850 Chances are, if you're listening to this, you are not a drag queen. 90 00:07:26.050 --> 00:07:29.209 You you may have never done drag or maybe didn't even know what drag 91 00:07:29.449 --> 00:07:32.480 was. However, what we can relate on is that we have goals and 92 00:07:32.600 --> 00:07:38.279 dreams and that we want to achieve them. My dreams are different than yours, 93 00:07:38.360 --> 00:07:42.480 and that's a great thing. It doesn't mean we can't relate on how 94 00:07:42.519 --> 00:07:48.149 to achieve them. Making Your interactions and conversations with others relatable so that they 95 00:07:48.189 --> 00:07:55.430 can connect with you is key to having charisma, speaking of goals and dreams. 96 00:07:55.829 --> 00:08:00.420 My next key to charisma is to share what you are passionate about. 97 00:08:01.019 --> 00:08:03.779 When you talk about what you are passionate about, the things that make you 98 00:08:03.939 --> 00:08:07.819 excited to wake up or even the things that keep you up late at night, 99 00:08:09.379 --> 00:08:15.129 your energy will come through. People gravitate towards that type of energy and 100 00:08:15.370 --> 00:08:20.329 people will pay attention to what you say or do. My next key is 101 00:08:20.449 --> 00:08:24.689 to remember and use people's names. If you take nothing else away from this 102 00:08:24.850 --> 00:08:30.680 episode, then let it be this point. Remembering and using people's names is 103 00:08:30.920 --> 00:08:35.879 a simple but effective way for people to feel connected with you in life. 104 00:08:35.120 --> 00:08:39.360 When we hear Our Name, our natural response is to pay attention. As 105 00:08:39.399 --> 00:08:43.429 a general rule, I try to use someone's name at the beginning and end 106 00:08:43.549 --> 00:08:48.509 of a conversation. This can be as simple as greeting a person by name 107 00:08:48.669 --> 00:08:52.549 and then using their name when you say goodbye. If you can work their 108 00:08:52.549 --> 00:08:56.220 name naturally into the conversation a few more times, that is even better, 109 00:08:56.620 --> 00:09:01.379 and the best thing is if you remember their name next time you see them. 110 00:09:01.419 --> 00:09:05.779 Another key to unlock your charisma is to have a sense of humor. 111 00:09:05.820 --> 00:09:11.690 Charismatic people always have a reason to smile, even when in tough situations. 112 00:09:11.730 --> 00:09:16.570 Any situation could always use at least a little humor, so if you have 113 00:09:16.730 --> 00:09:20.610 the confidence to make people around you laugh, it helps build a connection with 114 00:09:20.730 --> 00:09:24.279 them and people will enjoy being around you. A little humor can have a 115 00:09:24.440 --> 00:09:30.879 really positive impact on your relationships, both personal and professional, on your way 116 00:09:31.039 --> 00:09:35.440 to a happy and fulfilled life. My last key to unlocking your charisma is 117 00:09:35.639 --> 00:09:41.309 body language. Words are important, but it is often the nonverbal expressions that 118 00:09:41.509 --> 00:09:48.070 really shape are interactions or connections. Voice, tone, facial expression, gestures 119 00:09:48.269 --> 00:09:54.500 and posture are a few big things people notice about you. Focus on having 120 00:09:54.539 --> 00:09:58.899 a confident tone and open and friendly expressions and gestures when you interact with others. 121 00:09:58.980 --> 00:10:03.379 An easy way to do this is to fully face others when speaking with 122 00:10:03.500 --> 00:10:07.090 them. Make sure your body is angled towards who you are talking to, 123 00:10:07.570 --> 00:10:13.129 and this will signal that you are invested in the conversation at hand. Nonverbal 124 00:10:13.169 --> 00:10:18.690 communication really is a second language and, while you may not know what to 125 00:10:18.769 --> 00:10:22.879 say, make sure you look like you are invested in what you are talking 126 00:10:22.919 --> 00:10:28.000 about. True core asthma comes from within, and I hope the keys I've 127 00:10:28.039 --> 00:10:33.360 talked about in this episode will unlock charisma in you. Author and Life Coach 128 00:10:33.559 --> 00:10:39.350 Martha Beck says people see Charisma as charm or the ability to manipulate. It's 129 00:10:39.389 --> 00:10:43.590 actually the opposite. I see it as completely being in your truth. I 130 00:10:43.789 --> 00:10:48.669 agree with Martha. The golden rule to having charisma is never ever fake it. 131 00:10:50.259 --> 00:10:54.419 However, working on the things we've actually talked about in other episodes, 132 00:10:54.700 --> 00:10:58.700 like finding your passion and being who you are, will ultimately change you into 133 00:10:58.779 --> 00:11:03.450 a charismatic person. So if you're doing that, you'll never have to fake 134 00:11:03.529 --> 00:11:09.250 it. You will then notice yourself connecting with others and the world in ways 135 00:11:09.289 --> 00:11:13.129 you never have before, and then you will know you have unlocked the power 136 00:11:13.370 --> 00:11:18.399 of your charisma. Until next time, go be fabulously charismatic. See you 137 00:11:18.440 --> 00:11:22.720 later. Snack. Hey Snack, I hope you enjoyed this episode. Snack 138 00:11:22.799 --> 00:11:28.080 size podcast is sponsored by twin cities gay scene, the online magazine for events 139 00:11:28.159 --> 00:11:33.750 and culture happening in the twin cities area. Check out my biweekly editorial snack 140 00:11:33.830 --> 00:11:41.309 scene, at www dot twin cities gay scenecom and for more fun with this 141 00:11:41.470 --> 00:11:46.820 podcast, head on over to www dot snack size podcastcom to leave a review 142 00:11:48.019 --> 00:11:52.820 and follow me on my social media. Until next time, go be fabulous. 143 -->