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Sept. 29, 2020

Shoulda! Coulda! Woulda!

Shoulda! Coulda! Woulda!

with Dwight Allen O'Neal


In this episode, Minneapolis based Drag Queen, Lala Luzious has a chat with author and entertainment personality Dwight Allen O’Neal about his new book Shoulda! Coulda! Woulda!   Snack Tip: Shoulda! Coulda! Woulda!  is a MUST READ! Get your copy here: https://www.amazon.com/Shoulda-Coulda-Woulda-Inspirational-Mistakes-ebook/dp/B0877BLVL5 Check out Dwight’s podcast here: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6BfNp2jYcdGL5VKdmJzeij Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shoulda-coulda-woulda/id1499665864   Need another snack? Head on over to www.snacksizepodcast.com  Follow Snack Size: The Podcast on Twitter: @podcast_snack  Follow Lala on Instagram: @lalaluzious      _____________   Intro and Interlude Music for "Snack Size"  is Foxistence (Instrumental) by DayFox https://soundcloud.com/dayfox
Transcript
WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.840 --> 00:00:05.519 Hey snacks, welcome to season two of snacks eyes, the podcast that will 2 00:00:05.519 --> 00:00:10.070 drag you into your most fabulous life. I'm your host, Rabba Lush, 3 00:00:10.109 --> 00:00:13.910 has also known as the snack of the twin cities, a drag queen that 4 00:00:13.990 --> 00:00:18.190 twirled her way into podcasting, and the rest is a dream come true, 5 00:00:18.670 --> 00:00:23.940 and that's exactly what this podcast is about, making your dreams happen for you 6 00:00:24.699 --> 00:00:29.500 fabulously. This season we are continuing our journey in finding out what makes a 7 00:00:29.660 --> 00:00:34.340 happy and fulfilled life, going places we've never been before. Don't forget that, 8 00:00:34.500 --> 00:00:38.409 when it comes to your potential, the sky is the limit and it's 9 00:00:38.530 --> 00:00:42.170 never a bad time to beat you are. Get you a snack, because 10 00:00:42.210 --> 00:00:56.079 your fabulous life starts now. Hey snacks, I want to start off by 11 00:00:56.159 --> 00:01:00.079 saying I am so excited for this guest for this episode. We recorded this 12 00:01:00.200 --> 00:01:06.150 interview about a month ago, and it really says a lot that not only 13 00:01:06.310 --> 00:01:10.870 did I learn and grow from this person while interviewing them, their words have 14 00:01:11.109 --> 00:01:14.670 really helped me with some things that I have going on in my life right 15 00:01:14.790 --> 00:01:19.140 now. This guess was trained at the American musical and Dramatic Academy and has 16 00:01:19.140 --> 00:01:26.540 an extensive background in beauty, entertainment and entrepreneurship through his book, should have, 17 00:01:26.620 --> 00:01:29.980 could have, would a and his podcast by the same name. This 18 00:01:30.260 --> 00:01:34.250 guess aims to help his audience by sharing things with them he wished he would 19 00:01:34.250 --> 00:01:41.890 have knew before making various choices in life, because this guess is literally overflowing 20 00:01:42.049 --> 00:01:46.969 with wisdom. This episode is a little longer than usual, but I guarantee 21 00:01:47.159 --> 00:01:51.239 that you will love every minute. So, even though this is snack size, 22 00:01:51.599 --> 00:01:55.319 let's get to this full, home cooked meal. Welcome to the show, 23 00:01:55.640 --> 00:02:01.670 Dwight Allen O'Neal. Let's give him a call. Dwight Allen O'Neil, 24 00:02:01.829 --> 00:02:06.390 welcome to snack size. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I 25 00:02:06.510 --> 00:02:09.189 am so excited to be here. I am so thrilled to have you. 26 00:02:09.430 --> 00:02:13.229 I read your Fabulous Book and we're definitely going to get into that. But 27 00:02:13.349 --> 00:02:16.379 I only got to listen to one episode of Your podcast. But when I 28 00:02:16.539 --> 00:02:21.819 tell you that that one episode I knew that we were going to be good 29 00:02:21.860 --> 00:02:23.939 friends. It was the one where you were talking about we now we keep 30 00:02:23.939 --> 00:02:27.699 it classy out here, so we'll just go be the fleet and the clear 31 00:02:27.780 --> 00:02:31.330 water. Oh my God, it's all gonna. I was at work and 32 00:02:31.449 --> 00:02:34.370 I was like, Oh, you know, I was like, I'll just 33 00:02:34.490 --> 00:02:37.169 get it an episode of this podcast and I was like, Oh, maybe 34 00:02:37.250 --> 00:02:38.530 this wasn't the right word. To listen to it where that? Oh, 35 00:02:38.650 --> 00:02:44.759 I see, but I honestly I could have turned it off I enjoyed it 36 00:02:44.840 --> 00:02:46.759 so much. So I am really looking forward to getting into it. You 37 00:02:46.879 --> 00:02:50.159 know what snacks. I'm going to go ahead and say it. Should. 38 00:02:50.159 --> 00:02:53.800 I couldn't word a podcast. Gotta listen to it. Let's probably what I'll 39 00:02:53.800 --> 00:02:57.319 do all weekend. So I look forward to two more antics of it's anything 40 00:02:57.400 --> 00:02:59.509 like the first episode, I know it's going to be epic. I can 41 00:02:59.669 --> 00:03:01.270 that way. It really is. Thank you so much. We're actually on 42 00:03:01.349 --> 00:03:06.030 summer HIGHAUS and I return next week with brand new episode, so I have 43 00:03:06.150 --> 00:03:08.389 to have you on. I would absolutely love that. I'm sure you and 44 00:03:08.430 --> 00:03:12.830 I will find all types of things to talk about. So your new book 45 00:03:12.860 --> 00:03:15.659 should I could have would that was kind of like a quarantine project, right. 46 00:03:15.659 --> 00:03:19.180 Yes, it was. It was a quarantine project, but it was 47 00:03:19.219 --> 00:03:23.500 also a companion piece in general to my podcast. So there were certain things 48 00:03:23.500 --> 00:03:25.580 that I wanted to go in more detail with and I felt that I needed 49 00:03:25.699 --> 00:03:30.689 longer than twenty to thirty minutes. So I decided to actually work on a 50 00:03:30.729 --> 00:03:32.050 book, which I had been trying to write a book for many, many 51 00:03:32.050 --> 00:03:36.849 years, and it honestly just made sense. I was locked away in my 52 00:03:36.969 --> 00:03:38.889 home and I said, you know what, I have all this material like, 53 00:03:39.129 --> 00:03:42.400 take this shit, package it up and make a book out of it. 54 00:03:42.759 --> 00:03:46.639 Honestly, it is packed full of drama and advice and adventure. I 55 00:03:47.199 --> 00:03:52.000 can't remember the last time that I read a book and actually found myself laughing 56 00:03:52.120 --> 00:03:54.680 out loud. You did such a great job. The stories are so compelling 57 00:03:54.949 --> 00:03:59.389 and I want to talk about some of them right now, starting with your 58 00:03:59.430 --> 00:04:01.830 childhood. So this was a really simple sentence in the book, but it 59 00:04:01.949 --> 00:04:05.229 just really stood out to me. You said early on in my life I 60 00:04:05.509 --> 00:04:11.020 knew I wanted two things, a husband and my own TV show. Baby. 61 00:04:11.099 --> 00:04:14.340 I had such a vivid imagination. So tell us about what in your 62 00:04:14.379 --> 00:04:17.139 childhood inspired your passion for Beauty, culture and TV. Oh my God, 63 00:04:17.220 --> 00:04:20.819 so I definitely believe in reincarnation a hundred percent, because as a kid, 64 00:04:21.259 --> 00:04:26.250 the things that I was doing or was like adult stuff. So I remember 65 00:04:26.250 --> 00:04:30.009 me and my favorite cousin actually used to. We used to form, and 66 00:04:30.850 --> 00:04:34.769 I'll call it drag performing reform, and I'm the living room, like while 67 00:04:34.810 --> 00:04:39.079 our moms were at work, and we would chart to neighborhood kids fifty cents 68 00:04:39.120 --> 00:04:42.879 to come and watch US perform, and we would serve them cheetos on a 69 00:04:42.959 --> 00:04:46.240 platter and we would cut up lemons and put it in water and serve water 70 00:04:46.399 --> 00:04:49.920 and so like sell this for fifty cents. So I always wanted to be 71 00:04:50.040 --> 00:04:54.110 like on stage and like in the spotlight, just at a young age. 72 00:04:54.550 --> 00:04:57.829 And my first husband, I got married when I was three, by the 73 00:04:57.910 --> 00:05:02.470 way, and I'm actually had the same babysitter and we got married in front 74 00:05:02.470 --> 00:05:05.670 of a tree and the plan was for us to go off to Hollywood. 75 00:05:05.709 --> 00:05:09.899 I was supposed to have a hit TV show while he went to school and 76 00:05:10.100 --> 00:05:13.620 like we had it all figured out and see left me for Latoya at seven 77 00:05:13.620 --> 00:05:16.699 years old. I'm not for Latoya's. They're always the worst. They're the 78 00:05:16.860 --> 00:05:23.089 worst. I actually remember reading that chapter to your book and I thought it 79 00:05:23.290 --> 00:05:27.730 really spoke to innocence and how we can be trained to proceed that something is 80 00:05:27.769 --> 00:05:30.569 wrong, and I know that you talked about that a little bit because nothing 81 00:05:30.610 --> 00:05:31.850 was wrong until you all got older, and then I think you went to 82 00:05:31.930 --> 00:05:35.480 church and he figured out that that this wasn't maybe the right thing to happen. 83 00:05:35.800 --> 00:05:40.000 Yeah, so, so the interesting thing is, like I've always been 84 00:05:40.000 --> 00:05:43.800 rooted in Churt, so my family actually went to church all the time, 85 00:05:43.959 --> 00:05:46.639 like eve when I was younger. His family didn't. So apparently he went 86 00:05:46.720 --> 00:05:50.550 to church one time and overheard the message about homosexuality being wrong and came back 87 00:05:50.589 --> 00:05:53.829 and reported that to me, and I remember saying, Zam, I remember 88 00:05:53.870 --> 00:05:57.670 this conversation so vividly. I was like no, that's not true, like 89 00:05:57.910 --> 00:06:00.709 I go to church every Sunday. I've never heard them say that. So 90 00:06:00.829 --> 00:06:03.740 where did you get this information from? And I was just so puzzled and 91 00:06:04.139 --> 00:06:09.259 also so dramatic. I remember like throwing like birthday gets he gave me and 92 00:06:09.379 --> 00:06:11.699 like his overnight bag, and I was like, I want you out of 93 00:06:11.779 --> 00:06:15.259 my house. I'd never want to see you again, like Bernadine Wayne. 94 00:06:15.259 --> 00:06:20.089 To exhale moment. But yeah, it was definitely it was heartbreaking for me, 95 00:06:20.250 --> 00:06:23.569 like it really was my first heartbreak and it was the first time I 96 00:06:23.689 --> 00:06:27.410 felt that something was wrong with me. That's why my heart goes out. 97 00:06:27.449 --> 00:06:30.290 I know, if you notice, even in my you know my dedications. 98 00:06:30.329 --> 00:06:33.759 I dedicated my book to Carl Joseph Walker Hoover and I never even met that 99 00:06:33.839 --> 00:06:38.639 kid. But I remember watching on Oprah many, many years ago that he 100 00:06:38.800 --> 00:06:43.199 killed himself because kids picked on him because, oh my God, because he 101 00:06:43.399 --> 00:06:46.079 was effeminate and they just so swoomed he was gay and told him it was 102 00:06:46.120 --> 00:06:50.269 wrong. And this little boy hung himself. I remember watching this on Oprah 103 00:06:50.350 --> 00:06:56.110 and I cried for four hours straight because that was my childhood. So many 104 00:06:56.149 --> 00:06:59.750 times I went home thinking something was wrong with me. I was like this 105 00:06:59.949 --> 00:07:02.620 poor kid didn't have, you know, the Dwight or someone else to look 106 00:07:02.660 --> 00:07:05.819 up to to really inspire him and let him know that it gets better. 107 00:07:06.579 --> 00:07:10.779 One day someone's going to love you just the way you are. And there 108 00:07:10.819 --> 00:07:13.620 were moments when I was a kid where I didn't want to live in more 109 00:07:13.660 --> 00:07:15.410 because I thought I was gonna, you know, something was wrong with me 110 00:07:15.449 --> 00:07:18.009 and that was going to burn in Hell. And I didn't kill myself because 111 00:07:18.050 --> 00:07:20.129 I was scared I was going to hell. I just kept thinking this is 112 00:07:20.170 --> 00:07:24.250 gonna go away, this is gonna go away, and then finally, once 113 00:07:24.329 --> 00:07:26.730 I got into my teenage years, I was like, screw that, like 114 00:07:27.250 --> 00:07:30.240 I am who I am and if anything, I love me. And it 115 00:07:30.519 --> 00:07:34.360 was a process that to many, many, many years to kind of start 116 00:07:34.439 --> 00:07:38.279 thinking that way. And even as a teenager I still didn't believe it, 117 00:07:38.360 --> 00:07:41.560 but at least I started telling myself the story and, like they say, 118 00:07:41.600 --> 00:07:44.240 thank it to you make it. I start telling myself that it's okay and 119 00:07:44.279 --> 00:07:46.149 it will get better, and eventually I believed it. I write for a 120 00:07:46.269 --> 00:07:49.790 magazine called twin cities gays and I just did an article on mental health and 121 00:07:49.990 --> 00:07:55.870 they were talking about how, especially right now, lgbt suicide attempts and stuff 122 00:07:55.870 --> 00:07:59.300 are up by forty percent and that's super scary. But what I think that 123 00:07:59.540 --> 00:08:03.699 people don't realize is that that is just a common part of the LGBTQ plus 124 00:08:03.860 --> 00:08:07.100 experience, you know, having those feelings and not knowing how to deal with 125 00:08:07.180 --> 00:08:11.139 them. It's very scary. So when I read books like should have, 126 00:08:11.220 --> 00:08:13.089 could have, would have, one thing that I really really like is that 127 00:08:13.250 --> 00:08:16.810 it shows a success story, it shows someone coming out on the other side. 128 00:08:16.970 --> 00:08:22.250 So I really really appreciate that you are been able to share your successes 129 00:08:22.290 --> 00:08:24.410 with the world in such a way because it inspires people like me and people 130 00:08:24.410 --> 00:08:28.560 who may be struggling with something. You talk in the early part of the 131 00:08:28.600 --> 00:08:31.840 book about being shy. How did you overcome your shy Jene and become the 132 00:08:31.919 --> 00:08:35.200 guy who was smiling on that book cover, because that is a huge smile. 133 00:08:35.360 --> 00:08:37.799 I was like, this person is not shy. There's that way. 134 00:08:39.000 --> 00:08:43.509 Well, the stage mother that I never had, I end up inheriting when 135 00:08:43.509 --> 00:08:46.070 I moved to New York and embrace my sexuality and came at his gay. 136 00:08:46.269 --> 00:08:50.429 So Nathan said this Scot God rest the soul, is my mentor. Who 137 00:08:50.789 --> 00:08:54.710 his the angel? He's still with me, still guiding me. That's who 138 00:08:54.750 --> 00:08:56.259 pushed me to to write this book, even in the afterlife. He's the 139 00:08:56.299 --> 00:09:01.580 stage mother and I remember I was. I was fortunate of I produce actually 140 00:09:01.580 --> 00:09:03.779 the first black a web series by the name of Christira Street TV, which 141 00:09:03.860 --> 00:09:07.340 was inspired by Patrick and polks noahs Ark, which was on logo, and 142 00:09:07.860 --> 00:09:11.649 I was selected to be a part of a film festival. I remember sitting 143 00:09:11.690 --> 00:09:16.490 next to Nathan and I was so terrified and so nervous and so shy about 144 00:09:16.490 --> 00:09:20.169 getting up in front of the people like to talk and like I was literally 145 00:09:20.210 --> 00:09:22.570 shaking and he was like, what's wrong with you? And I'm like, 146 00:09:22.889 --> 00:09:24.080 never met this guy, by the way. He's that what's wrong with you, 147 00:09:24.159 --> 00:09:26.720 and I'm like, I'm shy. He goes all no one's shy. 148 00:09:28.039 --> 00:09:30.360 He was like, you know, being shy is something you've made up in 149 00:09:30.480 --> 00:09:33.159 your head. It's your way of having to not deal with people, it's 150 00:09:33.200 --> 00:09:37.789 your way of hiding. It's it's a defense mechanism that you created in your 151 00:09:37.870 --> 00:09:41.070 mind. He said, when you were born, no doctor told your mom 152 00:09:41.149 --> 00:09:45.629 you have an eight pound, seven ounces baby with curly hair, Brian as 153 00:09:45.789 --> 00:09:48.029 oh, and, by the way, he shy. It's something we create 154 00:09:48.070 --> 00:09:50.590 in our mind and it took gears of practice. It definitely took me a 155 00:09:50.710 --> 00:09:54.220 lot of I like to call them life coach exercises he would put me through, 156 00:09:54.299 --> 00:09:56.779 for instance, when we would go to clubs, like he would make 157 00:09:56.860 --> 00:10:01.460 me go around and collect email addresses, and not only collect email addresses, 158 00:10:01.539 --> 00:10:05.899 but also like make genuine connections with people so that I remember who they already 159 00:10:05.899 --> 00:10:09.570 encouraged me to speak to people and just eventually, you know, I just 160 00:10:09.730 --> 00:10:13.889 learned that, no, you're not shy, it's just that you honestly were 161 00:10:13.929 --> 00:10:18.409 insecure you were insecure and afraid of rejection, and that's what prevented you from 162 00:10:18.409 --> 00:10:22.240 connecting with people in real life, in real time. I'm so glad that 163 00:10:22.360 --> 00:10:24.320 you brought up Nathan, because he's a super important part of this book and 164 00:10:24.360 --> 00:10:28.120 I want to read this quote that really spoke to me. It's on page 165 00:10:28.159 --> 00:10:31.799 twenty one one. He said I was so used to people doing things to 166 00:10:31.919 --> 00:10:35.509 help me in order to help themselves. He be Nathan really did see something 167 00:10:35.549 --> 00:10:39.950 special in me, something that I didn't see in myself. Over the next 168 00:10:39.990 --> 00:10:41.789 few months, Nathan pushed me and challenge me in ways I had never been 169 00:10:41.870 --> 00:10:46.190 challenging. He brought me out of my Shell and taught me how to be 170 00:10:46.389 --> 00:10:48.909 this confident, funny, outgoing brand. Not to say that I am an 171 00:10:48.909 --> 00:10:54.100 in authentic individual. However, Nathan taught me how to really turn it on, 172 00:10:54.419 --> 00:10:58.659 even when Dwight Allen O'Neil doesn't want to be present. So I really 173 00:11:00.179 --> 00:11:03.179 love where you say that you have to turn it on when it's not present. 174 00:11:03.259 --> 00:11:07.409 That's such a huge part of the entertainment industry, the culture industry, 175 00:11:07.529 --> 00:11:09.570 podcast they would have you. You have to be able to turn it on. 176 00:11:11.090 --> 00:11:13.570 How do you do that now? Like when you're not feeling it. 177 00:11:13.809 --> 00:11:18.759 What inspires you to turn it on? Well, many years ago, beyond 178 00:11:18.840 --> 00:11:22.840 a retired Sasha fears and I was invited to an auction where I purchased her. 179 00:11:22.559 --> 00:11:26.720 So, no, really, yeah, I was invited his private action 180 00:11:28.000 --> 00:11:28.960 and you know, Sasha fierus, is that for sale? And I was 181 00:11:28.960 --> 00:11:33.629 like I need a little that in me. Oh my goodness, I'm so 182 00:11:33.710 --> 00:11:39.789 jealous. It took all my life savings. But no, seriously, I 183 00:11:39.990 --> 00:11:43.950 honestly I kind of adopted that like I mean because beyonce used to talk about 184 00:11:43.950 --> 00:11:46.549 how, you know, she's she would actually say shy and she's like I 185 00:11:46.669 --> 00:11:48.659 we use Sasha fears to turn it on, but I turn it on. 186 00:11:48.820 --> 00:11:52.139 I forced myself to, you know, be on because end the day we 187 00:11:52.259 --> 00:11:58.580 all have problems, we're all dealing with something. But perhaps me smiling like 188 00:11:58.740 --> 00:12:01.690 the cover of that book are perhaps me filming my podcast today, perhaps me 189 00:12:03.129 --> 00:12:05.649 hosting its this event, can add just a little bit of joy into someone's 190 00:12:05.649 --> 00:12:09.450 life or today, and if I'm able to do that, I've done my 191 00:12:09.570 --> 00:12:13.129 part. Life gives us a clean sheet of paper and it's up to me 192 00:12:13.210 --> 00:12:15.570 to decide what I want to put on it. I want to put on 193 00:12:15.690 --> 00:12:18.480 my paper things that inspire the world, things that entertain people and things that 194 00:12:18.559 --> 00:12:22.759 make them happy. And a lot of times when I'm dealing with something and 195 00:12:22.879 --> 00:12:26.720 I force myself to turn it on, it makes me realize that what I'm 196 00:12:26.720 --> 00:12:31.429 dealing with actually isn't really that important after all. So in your book you 197 00:12:31.629 --> 00:12:35.190 introduced a host of characters that really seemed to influence you, both professionally and 198 00:12:35.350 --> 00:12:39.710 personally. Can you talk a bit about the importance of who you surround yourself 199 00:12:39.710 --> 00:12:41.590 with and how that has helped you or hurt you hear and your career in 200 00:12:41.669 --> 00:12:45.940 life? Show me your friends and I'll show your future. My grandmother always 201 00:12:45.980 --> 00:12:50.179 told me that it's all about building an incredible tribe. And if we're all 202 00:12:50.419 --> 00:12:56.580 on our way to to loom are, to Seattle or wherever, perhaps I 203 00:12:56.700 --> 00:12:58.289 want to take a plane, you want to take a bus, someone else 204 00:12:58.330 --> 00:13:01.850 wants to take a train. As long as we're all going the same direction, 205 00:13:01.009 --> 00:13:03.450 we're going to get there. So I like to call the different modes 206 00:13:03.450 --> 00:13:07.090 of transportation different opinions. So I don't like this around myself, where on 207 00:13:07.169 --> 00:13:09.730 people that think just like me. I cannot stand a yes or and I 208 00:13:09.769 --> 00:13:13.480 don't trust one if they're so one in my ear that yes, is everything 209 00:13:13.519 --> 00:13:16.720 and loves everything about me. I'm like child. What you want? Well, 210 00:13:18.159 --> 00:13:20.519 I definitely enjoy when a someone's like, well, I want to go 211 00:13:20.519 --> 00:13:22.840 to Seattle with you, but I'm taking the bus. All right, let's 212 00:13:22.840 --> 00:13:24.799 debate on why we're not rinding the bus. But when you have someone in 213 00:13:24.840 --> 00:13:28.389 your tribe that you're trying to go to Seattle and they're trying to go to 214 00:13:28.590 --> 00:13:33.429 New Mexico, that creates the problem. Like we're not trying to go to 215 00:13:33.509 --> 00:13:37.470 the same destination. So I can admire you and respect to but we're just 216 00:13:37.549 --> 00:13:41.429 on two different journeys and that's fine. And I've been really fortunate enough that 217 00:13:41.980 --> 00:13:46.379 I have had so many people that love me and that actually support me and 218 00:13:46.500 --> 00:13:50.100 that a real friends. And along the way, of course I've inherited some 219 00:13:50.220 --> 00:13:56.570 people that probably shouldn't have been there, but ultimately I actually learned something from 220 00:13:56.570 --> 00:13:58.649 them, even in my acknowledgements. Actually thank every man that ever broke my 221 00:13:58.769 --> 00:14:03.090 heart, because of it weren't for them, I wouldn't know my worth and 222 00:14:03.090 --> 00:14:05.970 I wouldn't know what I was looking for in true love. And what do 223 00:14:05.049 --> 00:14:11.399 I deserves so I think it's really important to really take inventory of those individuals 224 00:14:11.399 --> 00:14:15.279 that earn your life and if your tribe is not worthy, it's time to 225 00:14:15.360 --> 00:14:18.679 give them the boot, and it's that easy. One of the things I 226 00:14:18.799 --> 00:14:22.679 found super interesting is that you shared that you recently made the decision to quit 227 00:14:22.759 --> 00:14:26.830 your job and go all in on your dreams, which I admire so much. 228 00:14:28.350 --> 00:14:31.950 Was that a difficult decision to make? Chow? Now that I quit, 229 00:14:31.029 --> 00:14:37.830 my God, three that three weeks later we went and pandemic and so 230 00:14:37.110 --> 00:14:41.860 all like, I had a lot of freelance work like lined up and immediately 231 00:14:41.899 --> 00:14:45.899 all they got canceled. So I'm like Um with I'm making the right choice, 232 00:14:46.100 --> 00:14:50.100 but totally was. So my thing is this. I've always wants to 233 00:14:50.100 --> 00:14:52.690 be an entertainer and in two thousand and twelve I went through a semi traumatic 234 00:14:52.690 --> 00:14:56.090 experience, which I discussed in the book, as well as a part of 235 00:14:56.129 --> 00:15:00.690 a very public scandal, and it kind of took my drive away as far 236 00:15:00.730 --> 00:15:03.289 as wanting to be in front of the camera, because I was popular on 237 00:15:03.450 --> 00:15:07.639 Youtube back then, and when bloggers begin to report about the story, they 238 00:15:07.679 --> 00:15:11.000 didn't know who I was, but the things they were saying about me was 239 00:15:11.080 --> 00:15:13.960 very hurtful. I got really upset because I was like, you know what, 240 00:15:15.120 --> 00:15:18.399 like if they knew it was me what? They say these things and 241 00:15:18.519 --> 00:15:20.360 then I'm like, well, why is the gay community or the community not 242 00:15:20.429 --> 00:15:24.070 even supporting this person who they don't even know what it is like? Why 243 00:15:24.070 --> 00:15:26.309 are we turning on them? So kind of took my drive away. So 244 00:15:26.389 --> 00:15:30.990 I went into regular corporate America, but every time I would meet someone new 245 00:15:31.029 --> 00:15:31.870 and they would say what do you do? I would say I'm the global 246 00:15:31.909 --> 00:15:35.389 director for Bubba Blah, Blah Blah. But there was a little voice in 247 00:15:35.429 --> 00:15:39.220 me that would always say no, bitch, you're an entertainer, you are 248 00:15:39.220 --> 00:15:43.019 a multimedia personality, you're a writer, you're a director, you're a producer 249 00:15:43.620 --> 00:15:46.980 and if you introduce herself to people in that little voice won't shut the Hell 250 00:15:48.019 --> 00:15:50.970 Up. It's time to listen that little boys. I had got into a 251 00:15:50.049 --> 00:15:52.450 situation at work where I was not happy. I had a new boss that 252 00:15:52.529 --> 00:15:56.009 did not like me. I did not like her. I hope she's listening 253 00:15:56.049 --> 00:15:58.090 to this because, girl, I just have a best on the book out 254 00:15:58.090 --> 00:16:03.210 and I left you. But moving along, I went on a business trip 255 00:16:03.409 --> 00:16:07.840 and literally like I was at a very high executive role, like my next 256 00:16:07.960 --> 00:16:11.639 promotion was VP of this company. And Wow, this woman legit. Every 257 00:16:11.679 --> 00:16:15.080 meeting I had, she had me text her after I would leave a meeting 258 00:16:15.200 --> 00:16:18.830 and I'm like what, this is like micromanaging on a whole nother level, 259 00:16:19.029 --> 00:16:22.149 like seriously, and I knew she was only doing that because, you know, 260 00:16:22.190 --> 00:16:26.029 I'm one of those people that I tell my business. So I tell 261 00:16:26.110 --> 00:16:27.230 them I had met this guy in Dallas and I was excited about, you 262 00:16:27.230 --> 00:16:30.110 know, going there. I was an extend the trip a couple days and 263 00:16:30.190 --> 00:16:33.659 hang out with him and I felt like she kept like micromanaging to ensure I 264 00:16:33.740 --> 00:16:37.419 was there working and on the the plane right home, I'm like you're better 265 00:16:37.500 --> 00:16:41.139 than this, like yeah, are you dealing with this? Like you're not 266 00:16:41.220 --> 00:16:45.500 a kid, you're a grown man and you you're such a hard worker, 267 00:16:45.940 --> 00:16:51.169 like my cells are incredible, my entire cells team love me. I'm like 268 00:16:51.330 --> 00:16:53.929 a great manager. And I landed the plane and I send her an email 269 00:16:53.929 --> 00:16:56.409 and I said, you know what, I can't do this anymore. And 270 00:16:56.490 --> 00:16:59.730 I said, you know, I'll give you guys another two weeks, but 271 00:16:59.769 --> 00:17:02.440 I need to work remotely or I just won't come back she didn't want me 272 00:17:02.440 --> 00:17:04.720 to work remotely. I said well, douces, and I walked out on 273 00:17:04.799 --> 00:17:08.559 faith because I definitely believe you create your greatness and you manifest whatever you want 274 00:17:10.079 --> 00:17:12.920 and you teach, you train people how to teach you. And the way 275 00:17:12.920 --> 00:17:18.910 I was treated, it was so insulting and it was so degrading at times, 276 00:17:18.950 --> 00:17:22.029 but I just stood there and I stayed and I'm destined to do more 277 00:17:22.549 --> 00:17:27.069 and I launched my podcast instantly. It was successful. You caught me quarantine 278 00:17:27.109 --> 00:17:32.460 project book. Here we are. I don't regret anything and I really do 279 00:17:32.579 --> 00:17:36.180 believe in the law of attraction and, you know, manifesting things and no 280 00:17:36.339 --> 00:17:38.059 shade, I still make the same amount of money I made from a very 281 00:17:38.099 --> 00:17:42.299 lucrative career. Like have not missed a beat and I am not looking back 282 00:17:42.420 --> 00:17:45.650 and I'm so proud of myself and I'm so happy. So anyone listening, 283 00:17:47.089 --> 00:17:49.650 if you are ready to walk out on faith and reach your goals, do 284 00:17:49.849 --> 00:17:52.569 it and you decide that you want to do it. Don't tell all your 285 00:17:52.609 --> 00:17:56.650 friends, don't tell everyone, because unfortunately, sometimes people love us so much 286 00:17:56.809 --> 00:18:00.519 they plant seas of doubt in our head. So I didn't tell anyone. 287 00:18:00.559 --> 00:18:02.559 I was doing this, because they would have been like, you're crazy like 288 00:18:02.640 --> 00:18:03.920 him. This great job, you live in New York and just bought this 289 00:18:04.000 --> 00:18:07.839 incredible home, like, are you going to pay your bills? And it's 290 00:18:07.880 --> 00:18:10.640 because they love you and they care about you, but they're planning seeds of 291 00:18:10.720 --> 00:18:14.630 doubt that's preventing you from reaching your full potential and your goals. But you 292 00:18:14.750 --> 00:18:18.630 owe it to yourself to live an authentic life for you. You only get 293 00:18:18.789 --> 00:18:22.029 one life. Go out there and live the best Dan life you can. 294 00:18:22.710 --> 00:18:26.579 I really, really resonated with everything you just said. When I started drag 295 00:18:26.700 --> 00:18:30.779 I was a server and, just like you, every time someone asked me 296 00:18:30.779 --> 00:18:33.220 a really Oh, you know, I'm a server at Buffalo Wild Wings, 297 00:18:33.259 --> 00:18:34.460 and I was like that's just not me. So, honestly, one day 298 00:18:34.500 --> 00:18:38.180 I just started saying I was like I'm a drag queen, and even though 299 00:18:38.299 --> 00:18:41.450 the looks up people's faces were just so shocked, especially in my small town 300 00:18:41.450 --> 00:18:45.250 at Indiana, it just felt better even just taking that small step to say 301 00:18:45.289 --> 00:18:48.730 no, I'm this first, and then this is a job I have. 302 00:18:48.089 --> 00:18:52.529 You know everything, so I definitely get that. I actually myself. I 303 00:18:52.849 --> 00:18:56.960 actually quit my job and try to do drag. It lasted three months, 304 00:18:56.279 --> 00:19:00.599 but what I learned from that experience was that drag wasn't something I wanted to 305 00:19:00.680 --> 00:19:03.519 be the full thing and was it. It's a very, very, very 306 00:19:03.519 --> 00:19:07.079 important hobby, but if I had never done that, I would never know 307 00:19:07.240 --> 00:19:10.430 that. You know exactly you have. It's my release, it's my escape 308 00:19:10.430 --> 00:19:12.109 right, and so you have to try. And so, no matter what 309 00:19:12.309 --> 00:19:15.349 the outcome is going to be, I want those who know you were going 310 00:19:15.390 --> 00:19:19.150 to learn something from taking that step and that leap of faith. Right, 311 00:19:19.230 --> 00:19:22.910 and just to be clear, listeners, don't just go and quit our job 312 00:19:22.950 --> 00:19:29.259 because I said that had okay. Clear on that. On that plane back 313 00:19:29.299 --> 00:19:33.779 to New York, I literally went online. I researched and marketing class that 314 00:19:33.819 --> 00:19:36.059 I want to take. Three Myth Class I finished in a week and a 315 00:19:36.059 --> 00:19:40.009 half. From that, I went online and I did a I took a 316 00:19:40.089 --> 00:19:42.450 class on marketing. My Book. Faith with that work is dead. So 317 00:19:42.569 --> 00:19:45.170 I put in the work. All right, I also had a savings going 318 00:19:45.289 --> 00:19:49.450 guys, but I literally went out and I put in the work along the 319 00:19:49.569 --> 00:19:52.559 way. So definitely have a plan. Don't just quit your job, go 320 00:19:52.680 --> 00:19:56.920 home and bumbons like you need to quit your job and create a strategy and 321 00:19:57.079 --> 00:20:00.960 actually make it happen. If you don't want to quit, you can at 322 00:20:00.960 --> 00:20:04.079 least start the step toward it. I just had the personality that I'm that 323 00:20:04.279 --> 00:20:07.589 cat that's going to land on their feet and Strut away. Definitely have a 324 00:20:07.710 --> 00:20:11.390 plan that you want to put an action. So don't hear this and just 325 00:20:11.470 --> 00:20:12.509 go and quit your job in while and then called me be like girl, 326 00:20:12.789 --> 00:20:15.950 I can't pay my bills, I don't like you. Didn't hear the whole 327 00:20:15.950 --> 00:20:19.950 interview, did you? So, speaking of a plan, a really interesting 328 00:20:21.029 --> 00:20:23.619 concept that you have in the book is called Reverse Engineering, and the character 329 00:20:23.700 --> 00:20:27.460 grammy I thought was so sweet. Can you talk about reverse engineering, though? 330 00:20:27.539 --> 00:20:33.700 Reverse engineering is actually something that a former boss of mine used to always 331 00:20:33.740 --> 00:20:37.450 saying. It would drive me freaking crazy. The easiest way to explain it 332 00:20:37.569 --> 00:20:41.049 is think of like a GPS. So if you know you're going to be 333 00:20:41.369 --> 00:20:44.369 taking your road trip to Little Rock, Arkansas, that's where I'm from, 334 00:20:44.809 --> 00:20:48.049 you're going to actually put in that address in the GPS, is going to 335 00:20:48.130 --> 00:20:49.960 populate all the steps is going to take to get there. So a lot 336 00:20:51.000 --> 00:20:52.799 of times, when it comes to creating your goals, if your goal is 337 00:20:52.880 --> 00:20:56.119 to be a talk show host, which that's my goal. Write that down 338 00:20:56.200 --> 00:21:00.359 and then work backwards as to what you need to be doing to get there. 339 00:21:00.960 --> 00:21:03.240 So I want to be a talk show host. The first thing I 340 00:21:03.279 --> 00:21:06.910 thought I should do is get a podcast, so I started with a podcast. 341 00:21:07.230 --> 00:21:10.109 The next thing, I need to release a book, so I released 342 00:21:10.150 --> 00:21:12.589 a book. The next thing I need to do daily hosting so that I 343 00:21:12.630 --> 00:21:17.910 can practice. So it's really working backwards to figure out what steps it takes 344 00:21:18.150 --> 00:21:21.500 to get to where you ultimately want to go. You can reverse engineer anything 345 00:21:21.619 --> 00:21:26.059 from relationships to getting a new house, to buying a new shoe to going 346 00:21:26.099 --> 00:21:30.299 on a vacation. You just really just pick out your in goal and you 347 00:21:30.380 --> 00:21:33.730 work backwards and planning out the steps that's going to take to achieve that goal. 348 00:21:34.490 --> 00:21:37.210 That's an amazing concept. I think that you can really do that with 349 00:21:37.329 --> 00:21:41.250 anything, like even simple stuff in your life. That's amazing and it works. 350 00:21:41.289 --> 00:21:42.769 It totally works. He'll cleaning your house. I need the whole house. 351 00:21:42.809 --> 00:21:45.049 Lame where I'm on the start. All Right, okay, what do 352 00:21:45.089 --> 00:21:48.400 I hate doing most? The bathroom. Let's start there. You know, 353 00:21:48.839 --> 00:21:52.000 and I honestly I'm proved like you, couldn't have told me this time last 354 00:21:52.039 --> 00:21:56.960 year that I would have left my very lucrative career and I would be following 355 00:21:57.039 --> 00:22:02.230 my dream and not missing a beat and not worried about how am I going 356 00:22:02.230 --> 00:22:06.109 to pay my bills, because I'm following my passion, and not very many 357 00:22:06.109 --> 00:22:10.750 people can say that. And it happened because I planned it out and I 358 00:22:10.869 --> 00:22:14.589 actually had faith and I believe in it and I've had people like you that 359 00:22:14.710 --> 00:22:18.539 have allowed me to even come and just, you know, share my experience 360 00:22:18.740 --> 00:22:21.779 and promote myself in such a unique way. So thank you for even having 361 00:22:21.819 --> 00:22:23.700 me here today. Really move the world to me. Let Me Tell You, 362 00:22:23.859 --> 00:22:27.059 the pleasure is all mine. Speaking of things that we have in common, 363 00:22:27.180 --> 00:22:30.690 I've have the you and I both don't like to hear the word no, 364 00:22:30.170 --> 00:22:34.049 and a really powerful quote from the book is you said truth be told. 365 00:22:34.289 --> 00:22:37.289 In Life, you will hear more nose than guesses. It's just the 366 00:22:37.410 --> 00:22:41.650 fact just because you hear it doesn't mean you are a bad person, untalented 367 00:22:41.809 --> 00:22:45.359 or won't be successful. Can Do you have any advice for people who are 368 00:22:45.519 --> 00:22:48.240 in that stage in their career where they're dealing with the nose and they haven't 369 00:22:48.279 --> 00:22:52.079 gotten their yest. Yet don't take nose personal. Really Dun't. And I 370 00:22:52.200 --> 00:22:56.160 think it was really helpful because I went to school for Music Theater and at 371 00:22:56.240 --> 00:23:00.029 this one teacher like he was the rudest thing on earth and the planet, 372 00:23:00.190 --> 00:23:06.430 like we just evil and I could not stand him. And it's so funny 373 00:23:06.470 --> 00:23:08.470 because I went to school for musical theater and I grew up like a straight 374 00:23:08.549 --> 00:23:11.630 a student, but I struggle through college and my dad was like how the 375 00:23:11.750 --> 00:23:15.900 hell are you in school for acting and you're like barely making it, and 376 00:23:15.940 --> 00:23:18.019 I'm like, I have no idea, like I was the most talented person 377 00:23:18.140 --> 00:23:22.539 back come in Arkansas. I was the drama club. And you know when 378 00:23:22.579 --> 00:23:26.299 he gave me my review, because I'm also really bad at hiding facials expressions. 379 00:23:26.420 --> 00:23:30.890 Hence our BEF that chapter. So I was given him a serious face 380 00:23:30.970 --> 00:23:34.089 of our BEF, which it wasn't just our BF. I really was upset 381 00:23:34.130 --> 00:23:37.970 behind it because I didn't like the feedback and he said something so powerful to 382 00:23:38.049 --> 00:23:41.599 me. He said, you know, I'm hard on you so that when 383 00:23:41.640 --> 00:23:45.960 you go audition for your first Broadway show and you don't get it, I 384 00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:48.440 don't have to look at the freaking news and see you standing on the side 385 00:23:48.440 --> 00:23:52.200 of the Brooklyn Bridge jumping because of rejection. So he really got as used 386 00:23:52.240 --> 00:23:56.109 to hearing no so that when we got on the real world we heard it. 387 00:23:56.230 --> 00:24:00.390 It's like, you know what, that's fine, it's okay, there 388 00:24:00.430 --> 00:24:06.029 are other roles or other opportunities, but ultimately you can't take it personal. 389 00:24:06.069 --> 00:24:08.789 A lot of times you don't get things, not necessarily because you're not talented, 390 00:24:10.180 --> 00:24:12.380 not necessarily because you're not smart enough, not necessarily because you don't have 391 00:24:12.420 --> 00:24:15.740 the skill set, but it's really because they had something in mind. So 392 00:24:15.900 --> 00:24:19.259 we can't take it personal. Tier banks as at this like you know, 393 00:24:19.380 --> 00:24:22.660 keep going into you hear yes. It only takes one yest to really break 394 00:24:22.660 --> 00:24:26.529 up in that door for you. So just keep going, stay inspired and 395 00:24:26.569 --> 00:24:30.809 don't take it personal. I always believe that you say yes to yourself first, 396 00:24:30.849 --> 00:24:33.170 and I'm can clearly see the two've done that. Do you remember your 397 00:24:33.369 --> 00:24:37.490 first yes and how did it feel? Oh my God, my first yes. 398 00:24:38.000 --> 00:24:41.599 I remember when I was in second grade, I got the opportunity to 399 00:24:41.680 --> 00:24:45.359 play young Martin Luther King Jr and wow, I remember. Yeah, so 400 00:24:45.440 --> 00:24:48.480 it was him when he was a little boy, when he first realized that 401 00:24:48.519 --> 00:24:51.960 he was different, that he was black, and me and my best friend 402 00:24:52.359 --> 00:24:56.789 Sydney were up for the part and like this is when I knew, like 403 00:24:56.509 --> 00:25:00.549 I have drive and determination, because that part was like I was a I 404 00:25:00.710 --> 00:25:04.430 was a dog and that would part was a piece of meat and I wanted 405 00:25:04.470 --> 00:25:10.220 it and I remember it us like reading up against each other and this this 406 00:25:10.619 --> 00:25:14.859 inner like drive and determination was coming out of me and when I got the 407 00:25:14.980 --> 00:25:18.980 part, you would have thought I had just got a part for an NBC, 408 00:25:18.259 --> 00:25:23.650 you know, pilot, little kid. I remember once I did my 409 00:25:23.809 --> 00:25:26.890 first like you know, real acting world role where I was actually in a 410 00:25:27.410 --> 00:25:30.890 wide ay Stinger powers drink commercial. Do you remember that drink? Why? 411 00:25:30.890 --> 00:25:33.690 Day Stinger? It was like Red Bull Back A. Yeah, so I 412 00:25:33.769 --> 00:25:37.799 was in a commercial for that and my second grade teacher, who directed it, 413 00:25:37.000 --> 00:25:40.599 reached out and she goes, you've always had talent, and I was 414 00:25:40.720 --> 00:25:41.920 like Oh, thank you. She goes no, like you really actually were 415 00:25:41.960 --> 00:25:47.000 entertaining as a kid and that play, and I was like really, she 416 00:25:47.119 --> 00:25:49.029 was like yeah, like we laugh for real. So this is really meant 417 00:25:49.069 --> 00:25:52.470 a lat full circle moment. I'm glad you bought it back to your childhood 418 00:25:52.549 --> 00:25:56.230 because in the book you talked about wanting to be popular in high school and 419 00:25:56.349 --> 00:26:00.990 even mentioning craving other people's approval, but today it seems like the ture living 420 00:26:02.029 --> 00:26:04.339 life on your own terms. What advice would you have for people that maybe 421 00:26:04.500 --> 00:26:08.579 care too much about what other people think of them? You could be popular 422 00:26:08.579 --> 00:26:12.059 in your own world if you don't get out your ipod. I'm sorry, 423 00:26:12.220 --> 00:26:15.900 Oh God, I said Ipide Pool. Out Your Apple Iphone, go to 424 00:26:17.059 --> 00:26:21.730 itunes and you better pull up one of my favorite songs ever. Pull up 425 00:26:21.769 --> 00:26:26.930 job breakers. You who? You know the scene where they're walking down the 426 00:26:26.930 --> 00:26:30.170 hallway? Uh Huh, the slow emotion? Put that on, put your 427 00:26:30.210 --> 00:26:33.279 headphones on and Strut down the hallway and down the street. Yeah, and 428 00:26:33.400 --> 00:26:38.000 that your own Queen, be of your war, of your life. May 429 00:26:38.079 --> 00:26:41.440 Be Your own Queen, be the only in your world. And it took 430 00:26:41.480 --> 00:26:47.549 me honestly realizing that I don't need the validation of anyone else. I know 431 00:26:47.670 --> 00:26:49.910 I'm great, I know I'm awesome, and that's all that matters. And 432 00:26:51.150 --> 00:26:55.150 did it take a long time to get there? Absolutely do. I still 433 00:26:55.190 --> 00:26:56.950 look in the mirror and be like, Hey, I might going to lose 434 00:26:56.990 --> 00:27:00.150 a pound of to. I do, but then I also remember that, 435 00:27:00.309 --> 00:27:03.740 you know what, I love all of me. And something I read recently 436 00:27:03.859 --> 00:27:06.859 that's been really helpful that I've been telling a lot of people with life coaching 437 00:27:07.500 --> 00:27:10.819 is when you're down or hard in yourself, you should take a picture of 438 00:27:10.859 --> 00:27:12.900 yourself in the mirror when you were four years old, because a lot of 439 00:27:12.980 --> 00:27:17.329 times we're the meanest ourselves and we're getting dressed in the mornings and when you 440 00:27:17.369 --> 00:27:21.809 look at that picture you'll want to talk to that person. We're never mean 441 00:27:21.849 --> 00:27:25.289 to kids. We empower kids, we inspire them, we're nice to them. 442 00:27:25.650 --> 00:27:27.650 So speak to yourself as if you're that four year old and not be 443 00:27:27.809 --> 00:27:30.880 so hard on yourself. Would you ever tell a four year old that they're 444 00:27:30.920 --> 00:27:33.279 overweight? You wouldn't, or if you did, you need to be hit. 445 00:27:34.279 --> 00:27:37.319 You would find a kind way, you know. So we have to 446 00:27:37.319 --> 00:27:40.599 be kinder to ourselves. So I'M gonna get to my last question. I 447 00:27:40.720 --> 00:27:42.720 asked all my guests this. In your own words, what do you think 448 00:27:42.839 --> 00:27:47.789 the secret to a happy and fulfilled life is? The secret to a happy 449 00:27:47.910 --> 00:27:55.309 and fulfilled life is honestly learning that you create everything. You are the master 450 00:27:55.470 --> 00:28:00.019 of your universe. You are the creator of your everything. So the minute 451 00:28:00.059 --> 00:28:03.099 that you tap into that power and realize that I can create happiness, I 452 00:28:03.180 --> 00:28:07.819 can create sadness, I can create joy, I can create love, when 453 00:28:07.819 --> 00:28:11.660 you realize you have that power, that's the secret. It's unlogged. I 454 00:28:11.859 --> 00:28:14.650 challenge people to just, you know, take a moment. I know it 455 00:28:14.730 --> 00:28:17.809 sounds like super light hippie but like when you wake up in the morning, 456 00:28:18.289 --> 00:28:22.329 like start just giving gratitude and thanking the universe for everything around you, or 457 00:28:22.369 --> 00:28:26.970 thanking God for everything that he's blessed you with. And I'm also that person, 458 00:28:26.089 --> 00:28:29.640 like I'm definitely I have a really close relationship with God, but I 459 00:28:29.720 --> 00:28:32.480 talk to God like I'm talking to you, because in the day God knows 460 00:28:32.519 --> 00:28:36.319 when I'm doing some Shady Shit and God knows and I'm doing right. God 461 00:28:36.400 --> 00:28:38.279 saw me when I was having sex before mayor. He was there. So 462 00:28:38.440 --> 00:28:42.390 I don't talk to him like you know, he's my friend. So I'm 463 00:28:42.470 --> 00:28:45.430 like, you know, God, thank you for this, this and this, 464 00:28:45.670 --> 00:28:47.990 but you know, I'm not happier that extra way. I put all 465 00:28:48.029 --> 00:28:51.910 what we gonna do about that? But yeah, I think you know really 466 00:28:51.910 --> 00:28:56.420 learning that you know everything that we ever would want our desire. It's already 467 00:28:56.420 --> 00:29:00.819 here on earth and it's about US manifesting it. And when you realize you 468 00:29:00.900 --> 00:29:04.819 have that power. And I am a witness. I walked away from a 469 00:29:04.940 --> 00:29:07.420 job and like, still living. It's not the first time. I just 470 00:29:07.460 --> 00:29:11.450 quit a job, like I'll quit anything. I'll quit a relationship or job 471 00:29:11.490 --> 00:29:15.369 in a minute. I don't say I'm her happy. Yeah, I think 472 00:29:15.369 --> 00:29:21.089 that's the secret. Absolutely. Tell us what is next for Dwight Allen O'Neal? 473 00:29:21.450 --> 00:29:23.480 Oh Wow, so next for me? You're actually going to be exclusive. 474 00:29:23.960 --> 00:29:26.599 So this is an exclusit of no one knows this. I actually ain't 475 00:29:26.640 --> 00:29:32.039 the deal. This week I'm actually in the process of creating a documentary around 476 00:29:32.359 --> 00:29:37.640 the porn industry. It's actors of color, so the titles tinsive. So 477 00:29:37.759 --> 00:29:41.789 I'm working with huge porn star d'angel Jackson. So that's something really big I'm 478 00:29:41.789 --> 00:29:48.990 working on right now. Also, I host a daily broadcast on biggo called 479 00:29:48.029 --> 00:29:52.980 in the closet with Dwight. And Yeah, I'm doing this virtual book tour. 480 00:29:52.059 --> 00:29:55.980 Hopefully I'll get a chance to do something in person really soon so that 481 00:29:55.980 --> 00:29:57.619 I can meet people and actually sign their book. Yeah, that's what's next 482 00:29:57.660 --> 00:30:02.140 for me. That's amazing. So we can get your book on Amazon? 483 00:30:02.180 --> 00:30:07.289 Yes, and then your podcast is what platform? Yes, my podcast is 484 00:30:07.609 --> 00:30:11.930 everywhere. It's on spotify, apple, podcast, just we're all major podcasts 485 00:30:11.970 --> 00:30:15.930 are. It's entitled should, I Coulda Wood. A new episode every Wednesday. 486 00:30:17.210 --> 00:30:19.130 So I'm excited to listen to shit. I could have would and, 487 00:30:19.369 --> 00:30:22.880 if you all are not on Amazon right now, type it in Shit, 488 00:30:22.920 --> 00:30:29.559 I coulda would. I absolutely love this book and just from one Black Gamail 489 00:30:29.680 --> 00:30:33.519 to another, thank you for sharing your voice and writing our story so that 490 00:30:33.640 --> 00:30:36.589 it's a part of the history and Oh, thank you so much. It 491 00:30:36.710 --> 00:30:40.230 means the world to me that you enjoyed it and I can't wait to meet 492 00:30:40.269 --> 00:30:42.990 you in person because I just feel like we would be amazing friends. We 493 00:30:44.069 --> 00:30:45.630 have to go out for, you know, mimosas. All right, sex. 494 00:30:45.710 --> 00:30:48.670 Thank you for listening and thank you dry again for being on the show. 495 00:30:48.829 --> 00:30:52.500 We will talk to you later. By by, Hey, snack I 496 00:30:52.619 --> 00:30:57.660 hope you enjoyed this episode. Snack size podcast is sponsored by twin cities gay 497 00:30:57.779 --> 00:31:03.779 scene, the online magazine for events and culture happening in the twin cities area. 498 00:31:03.259 --> 00:31:11.529 Check out my biweekly editorial snack scene at www dot twin cities gay scenecom 499 00:31:11.089 --> 00:31:17.329 and for more fun with this podcast, head on over to www dot snack 500 00:31:17.450 --> 00:31:22.599 size podcastcom to leave a review and follow me on my social media. Until 501 00:31:22.680 --> 00:31:23.920 next time, go be fabulous.