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Jan. 27, 2021

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

Understanding The People In Our Lives


In this episode, Minneapolis based Drag Queen, Lala Luzious discusses relationships and how they are for a reason, season, or lifetime. Check out our website: www.snacksizepodcast.com  Follow Snack Size: The Podcast on Twitter: @podcast_snack  Follow Lala on Instagram: @lalaluzious  _____________   Intro and Interlude Music for "Snack Size"  is Foxylicious (Instrumental) by DayFox https://soundcloud.com/dayfox
Transcript
WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.040 --> 00:00:05.879 Hey, what's up world? Welcome to season three of snack size, the 2 00:00:06.040 --> 00:00:11.029 podcast that will drag you into your most fabulous life. It's a brand new 3 00:00:11.109 --> 00:00:16.030 year and it's a great time to live the life of your dreams. You've 4 00:00:16.109 --> 00:00:20.350 got to do you because no one else can and no matter what, you're 5 00:00:20.429 --> 00:00:23.820 happy and fulfilled life looks like. I want to help you get there. 6 00:00:24.179 --> 00:00:33.259 Our time together starts now. Hey, snacks, I hope you all are 7 00:00:33.340 --> 00:00:37.490 having a fabulous start to your two thousand and twenty one. Over the past 8 00:00:37.530 --> 00:00:41.530 year we've had a lot of time for reflection, and one of the things 9 00:00:41.570 --> 00:00:45.049 I like to reflect on in my life is the people I have in it. 10 00:00:45.530 --> 00:00:48.649 I know that the last year is taught me who is really there for 11 00:00:48.770 --> 00:00:53.439 me in my life. I've mentioned this before and previous episodes, but one 12 00:00:53.479 --> 00:00:58.520 of the best parts about being a performer and now a podcaster is that I 13 00:00:58.560 --> 00:01:02.039 get to meet a lot of different people, and that has helped me a 14 00:01:02.200 --> 00:01:07.510 lot. However, it took me a while to understand that not everyone is 15 00:01:07.549 --> 00:01:12.310 a friend. Some people don't have your best interest at heart. Sometimes maybe 16 00:01:12.390 --> 00:01:15.790 you just aren't as close to someone as you thought you were, and, 17 00:01:15.950 --> 00:01:19.459 of course, there are times when you meet someone and they are a friend 18 00:01:19.579 --> 00:01:23.980 for life. The thing is, your life is a revolving door. Some 19 00:01:25.060 --> 00:01:27.980 people Bele come and some people go. Some people will avoid you like to 20 00:01:29.060 --> 00:01:32.890 play again. Other show up with bags and just move in. Others just 21 00:01:33.010 --> 00:01:37.370 need somewhere to crash for a couple days. Others maybe need directions to where 22 00:01:37.370 --> 00:01:42.530 they actually want to go. I say all this because every person we meet 23 00:01:42.810 --> 00:01:47.200 are in your life for a purpose, and it is your job to figure 24 00:01:47.239 --> 00:01:51.920 out if that person is in your life for a reason, a season or 25 00:01:52.000 --> 00:01:57.640 a lifetime. Does that phrase sound familiar? There is a wellknown poem by 26 00:01:57.760 --> 00:02:02.430 an unknown author called reason, season or lifetime. It teaches us about accepting 27 00:02:02.510 --> 00:02:08.349 the impermanence of relationships and recognizing the lessons they leave us with. I love 28 00:02:08.509 --> 00:02:12.629 this poem and I want to take a moment to read it to you all. 29 00:02:13.030 --> 00:02:21.020 So snacks. Here is the poem reason, season or lifetime. People 30 00:02:21.060 --> 00:02:24.539 always come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. 31 00:02:25.379 --> 00:02:29.419 When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do. 32 00:02:30.449 --> 00:02:32.729 When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to me 33 00:02:32.889 --> 00:02:38.330 to need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you 34 00:02:38.449 --> 00:02:43.050 through a difficulty or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you 35 00:02:43.169 --> 00:02:47.879 physically, emotionally or even spiritually. They may seem like a God send to 36 00:02:47.960 --> 00:02:53.520 you, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them 37 00:02:53.639 --> 00:02:58.990 to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient 38 00:02:59.069 --> 00:03:02.389 time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an 39 00:03:02.430 --> 00:03:08.629 end. Sometimes they die, sometimes they just walk away, sometimes they act 40 00:03:08.710 --> 00:03:13.699 up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that 41 00:03:13.900 --> 00:03:17.620 our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done, 42 00:03:19.060 --> 00:03:23.500 the prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move 43 00:03:23.580 --> 00:03:28.409 on. When people come into your life for a season, it is because 44 00:03:28.569 --> 00:03:32.729 your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They may bring you 45 00:03:32.849 --> 00:03:38.650 an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you 46 00:03:38.770 --> 00:03:44.400 have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe 47 00:03:44.479 --> 00:03:50.120 it, it is real, but only for a season and like spring turns 48 00:03:50.199 --> 00:03:57.150 the summer and summer to fall, the season eventually ends. Lifetime relationships teach 49 00:03:57.150 --> 00:04:00.270 you lifetime lessons, those things you must build upon in order to have a 50 00:04:00.430 --> 00:04:05.710 solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person 51 00:04:05.870 --> 00:04:11.539 anyway and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships in areas 52 00:04:11.580 --> 00:04:15.699 of your life. It is said that love is blind, but friendship is 53 00:04:15.819 --> 00:04:19.180 clairvoyant. An thank you for being a part of my life, whether you 54 00:04:19.259 --> 00:04:28.290 were a reason, a season or a lifetime. What that poem teaches us 55 00:04:28.410 --> 00:04:32.370 is that people enter our lives to fulfill some need or purpose, depending on 56 00:04:32.449 --> 00:04:35.329 what we need at the time. They say, in our lives for a 57 00:04:35.410 --> 00:04:41.680 reason, season or lifetime. So let's talk about them all. Just so 58 00:04:41.839 --> 00:04:45.279 you know, I am going to share some stories about my life and I've 59 00:04:45.319 --> 00:04:48.480 changed the names of the people for privacy, but the stories themselves will be 60 00:04:48.720 --> 00:04:54.750 very true and I hope you can learn from them. First, there are 61 00:04:54.790 --> 00:04:58.790 the relationships that are for a reason. There are times in your life where 62 00:04:58.829 --> 00:05:02.790 you need something and depending on the situation, what you can need will change, 63 00:05:03.029 --> 00:05:06.860 but the fact that you need it always says the same. This can 64 00:05:06.980 --> 00:05:12.339 really be any type of thing. For example, your car brake sound and 65 00:05:12.540 --> 00:05:15.620 a passer by stops to help you, or maybe you're really stressed out with 66 00:05:15.699 --> 00:05:20.730 your job and you find a coworker to vent to when someone is in your 67 00:05:20.769 --> 00:05:25.649 life for a reason. It is usually to meet a need that you expressed, 68 00:05:26.290 --> 00:05:29.769 not always out loud, but you know in your heart you need it. 69 00:05:30.769 --> 00:05:33.850 They've come to assist you through a difficulty or to provide you with guidance 70 00:05:33.889 --> 00:05:38.560 and support. They may open an all new doorway in your life which you 71 00:05:38.600 --> 00:05:42.759 may have never discovered on your own, but one s they have served their 72 00:05:42.800 --> 00:05:46.920 purpose. The relationship dies. Sometimes it makes sense why the relationship dies, 73 00:05:47.160 --> 00:05:51.589 and then there's times where it really bothers you. When I moved to Minneapolis, 74 00:05:51.629 --> 00:05:55.629 I was really scared about whether or not I was going to make it 75 00:05:55.790 --> 00:06:00.230 in the drag scene here. Before that I had only been performing in Indiana 76 00:06:00.389 --> 00:06:03.189 and my small town, and while I learned a lot there, I definitely 77 00:06:03.500 --> 00:06:08.819 was the big fish in a small pond. In Indiana, I had a 78 00:06:08.899 --> 00:06:12.779 great support system of friends who really kept me going, but I knew that 79 00:06:12.899 --> 00:06:17.019 when I moved away I wouldn't have that same support. I was fortunate enough 80 00:06:17.019 --> 00:06:21.970 to meet someone totally randomly that ended up really helping me gain my confidence, 81 00:06:23.370 --> 00:06:26.889 and this person's aim is Steve. I met Steve While I was standing in 82 00:06:27.050 --> 00:06:30.850 line at a food joint ordering a burger he was in line behind me and 83 00:06:30.089 --> 00:06:33.800 when I said I wanted manonnaise on my burger, he said, Maynnais, 84 00:06:34.240 --> 00:06:39.720 you must not be from here. Me being a very outspoken person, I 85 00:06:40.160 --> 00:06:44.959 quickly noticed how passive aggressive people are in Minnesota, so to hear someone be 86 00:06:45.079 --> 00:06:48.670 so candid was a welcome surprise and, needless to say, we hit it 87 00:06:48.790 --> 00:06:53.790 off. It turns out that Steve Loves Drag, and not just the I 88 00:06:53.949 --> 00:06:57.310 watch every single episode of Rup Paul's drag race. Kind of loves drag. 89 00:06:57.750 --> 00:07:00.699 He actually knew a lot about drag history and we shared some of the same 90 00:07:00.980 --> 00:07:08.100 favorite iconic drag idols. Steve really encourage me as I was starting out in 91 00:07:08.180 --> 00:07:13.100 Minneapolis. He came to almost all of my shows and would vary loudly cheer 92 00:07:13.180 --> 00:07:16.410 me on in the front row. He was also always telling people about how 93 00:07:16.529 --> 00:07:21.370 awesome I was, so much so that my insecurities I had just kind of 94 00:07:21.649 --> 00:07:27.689 melted away. As we know, change is really scary, and moving here 95 00:07:27.810 --> 00:07:30.600 was probably one of the biggest ones in my life, and I can say 96 00:07:30.639 --> 00:07:32.639 that if it weren't for Steve, I would have had a much harder time 97 00:07:32.759 --> 00:07:38.000 getting my name out in Minneapolis. Steve and I spent a lot of time 98 00:07:38.079 --> 00:07:41.639 together and somewhere along the way I started to fall in love with him. 99 00:07:42.439 --> 00:07:46.310 Steve was an amazing supporter when it came to my performing, but in so 100 00:07:46.790 --> 00:07:50.910 many other ways we just weren't a match. I knew that, but I 101 00:07:50.990 --> 00:07:56.269 felt for it anyway. What I didn't realize, or maybe I didn't want 102 00:07:56.310 --> 00:07:59.819 to accept, is that Steve was only in my life for a reason and 103 00:08:00.379 --> 00:08:05.939 when a relationship ended, I was really upset about it. But it was 104 00:08:05.019 --> 00:08:09.740 also clear that I was going to be a successful drag queen in Minneapolis, 105 00:08:09.139 --> 00:08:13.050 which was awesome, but that meant I couldn't hang out as much as I 106 00:08:13.129 --> 00:08:16.250 used to, or I would be busy so I couldn't chat on the phone. 107 00:08:16.290 --> 00:08:22.209 Over time, the relationship just kind of lost its fire. The people 108 00:08:22.209 --> 00:08:24.569 who are in your life for a reason, once they have fulfilled their purpose, 109 00:08:24.970 --> 00:08:28.800 they leave. It's not the easiest thing in the world, but if 110 00:08:28.839 --> 00:08:33.120 you realize that they were only there for a reason, you may be able 111 00:08:33.159 --> 00:08:37.879 to let them go a little easier. It's important to see people and situations 112 00:08:37.039 --> 00:08:41.149 as they truly are and not what you think they might or hope they would 113 00:08:41.149 --> 00:08:45.750 be. Think of it this way, everything in life has a reason, 114 00:08:46.070 --> 00:08:48.309 so when it comes to the people in yours, you should know what that 115 00:08:48.470 --> 00:08:52.789 is for you, and to see Eve, if you happen to be listening 116 00:08:52.830 --> 00:08:56.779 to this episode. Thank you. Your kindness has helped me on my way 117 00:08:56.980 --> 00:09:01.259 and I'm always going to be thankful for that. Next, let's talk about 118 00:09:01.259 --> 00:09:05.740 the relationships that are there for a season. Some people enter our lives and 119 00:09:05.980 --> 00:09:09.970 make us aware of our own strengths, which we may not know. They 120 00:09:11.090 --> 00:09:16.169 inspire US and aid us in realizing our true potential. They're there to share 121 00:09:16.490 --> 00:09:20.370 and celebrate your life with you, and it is during these times that you 122 00:09:20.409 --> 00:09:26.200 can learn, grow and expand further than you ever thought before. These people 123 00:09:26.279 --> 00:09:30.159 tend to stick around longer than the reason people, but when the season is 124 00:09:30.240 --> 00:09:35.960 over, they leave. For example, everybody remembers their first love. Some 125 00:09:35.120 --> 00:09:39.750 people do end up spending a lifetime with their first love, but most people 126 00:09:39.750 --> 00:09:45.549 don't. And no matter who your first love is, you definitely appreciate all 127 00:09:45.629 --> 00:09:48.190 of the things that they taught you, even if you aren't together anymore. 128 00:09:48.990 --> 00:09:54.500 An example in my own life is not my first love, but it is 129 00:09:54.620 --> 00:09:58.620 the first person that made me feel it was okay to be gay. I 130 00:09:58.860 --> 00:10:01.019 was in high school and at that time I was trying to figure out what 131 00:10:01.139 --> 00:10:05.700 my life was about. I knew I was different and I was just trying 132 00:10:05.740 --> 00:10:09.330 to sort through that within myself. I was already being made fun of because 133 00:10:09.370 --> 00:10:13.210 of my size and I was terrified that if I came out as gay, 134 00:10:13.409 --> 00:10:18.730 it would just get worse, especially at a private Catholic school. One of 135 00:10:18.809 --> 00:10:22.360 the first people I can fid it in was my friend Kim, who rode 136 00:10:22.360 --> 00:10:26.240 the bus to school with me every day. Kim was one of the popular 137 00:10:26.360 --> 00:10:31.279 girls. She was very pretty, very smart and very well liked. However, 138 00:10:31.320 --> 00:10:37.830 unlike the other popular kids, she was always kind to me. When 139 00:10:37.830 --> 00:10:41.110 I came out to her, I remember she told me that she knew it 140 00:10:41.350 --> 00:10:43.950 was hard for me. She told me that being gay was okay and that 141 00:10:45.110 --> 00:10:48.990 once high school was over, life gets so much better. She explained that 142 00:10:50.059 --> 00:10:54.740 the people we went to school with probably would never understand me, but once 143 00:10:54.779 --> 00:10:58.820 I got out into the real world there were tons of people like me living 144 00:10:58.980 --> 00:11:03.139 happy, successful lives. It was right after that conversation I made a plan. 145 00:11:03.220 --> 00:11:07.049 I would do what I needed to do to get through high school and 146 00:11:07.289 --> 00:11:11.809 after that I could be free. Kim was wise beyonder years. In College 147 00:11:13.009 --> 00:11:16.690 I ended up being one of the most popular people on campus and I met 148 00:11:16.850 --> 00:11:20.759 five amazing gay men who are still my best friends to this day. Kim 149 00:11:20.799 --> 00:11:24.919 and I lost touch some time after school, but I will always remember that 150 00:11:26.080 --> 00:11:30.559 conversation. She gave me hope that I would one day find the life of 151 00:11:30.639 --> 00:11:33.470 my dreams, and without that needed reassurance, I don't know where I'd be. 152 00:11:35.789 --> 00:11:39.470 Seasonal people can have some of the biggest influence on your life and they 153 00:11:39.509 --> 00:11:43.190 may not even realize it. It is also likely that you have been an 154 00:11:43.230 --> 00:11:48.299 influence to someone in this lifetime, and you may not realize it. If 155 00:11:48.340 --> 00:11:52.139 you do come across seasonal relationships in life, enjoy them and learn and grow 156 00:11:52.259 --> 00:11:56.980 in every way you can. You never know when the season will change. 157 00:11:56.980 --> 00:12:01.929 Last, but certainly not least, there are the relationships that last a lifetime. 158 00:12:03.889 --> 00:12:09.009 Lifetime relationships are often family relationships or relationships that help you embrace yourself and 159 00:12:09.210 --> 00:12:15.649 others unconditionally. These are the people that form an integral part of your life. 160 00:12:16.320 --> 00:12:20.919 They assist in developing a solid support system and contribute greatly to who you 161 00:12:20.080 --> 00:12:24.480 are as a person. An example of this is your parents. For many 162 00:12:24.519 --> 00:12:30.789 people, their parents influence and guide them throughout their whole life. Another popular 163 00:12:30.830 --> 00:12:33.950 saying is that friends are the family we choose for ourselves, and I hope 164 00:12:33.990 --> 00:12:39.750 that everyone finds their best friend in life. Remember the five fabulous people I 165 00:12:39.909 --> 00:12:43.350 met in college? Well, it turns out they were not just reason or 166 00:12:43.389 --> 00:12:48.500 seasonal people, but lifelong friends. We have known each other for almost fifteen 167 00:12:48.539 --> 00:12:52.379 years and I would say we have been through a lot of ups and downs, 168 00:12:52.740 --> 00:12:56.539 and we have, but we've also been front words, backwards, diagonal 169 00:12:56.740 --> 00:13:01.769 and everything in between together, and our bond has never been broken. There 170 00:13:01.809 --> 00:13:05.850 are a lot of things I've learned from these relationships. When you grow older 171 00:13:05.929 --> 00:13:11.450 with people, you actually learn a lot. What I have learned about lifelong 172 00:13:11.490 --> 00:13:16.600 relationships is that these are the people who take a personal investment in you. 173 00:13:16.399 --> 00:13:20.519 If you are the company, they are the shareholders and they want to see 174 00:13:20.519 --> 00:13:26.639 you flourish and succeed when you are at your worst, these are the people 175 00:13:26.759 --> 00:13:31.509 that bring their best to help you. From my lifetime friends, I have 176 00:13:31.629 --> 00:13:35.629 learned what it means to be trustworthy and I've learned what happens when you aren't. 177 00:13:35.549 --> 00:13:39.710 I've learned about loyalty. I've also learned to accept people as they are 178 00:13:41.230 --> 00:13:45.500 and that I deserve to be accepted for who I am. It's more about 179 00:13:45.580 --> 00:13:50.299 celebrating the things that you love about the people in your life rather than focusing 180 00:13:50.539 --> 00:13:54.100 on what they could possibly do better. But if they ask what they could 181 00:13:54.100 --> 00:13:58.769 do better, you should tell them and help them grow, and I know 182 00:13:58.090 --> 00:14:01.929 that my friends would do the same for me. By following these principles of 183 00:14:03.090 --> 00:14:07.610 lifelong friendship, you will find a lifetime of learning and growing with the people 184 00:14:07.649 --> 00:14:13.840 you love. Every person that comes into our lives helps us to evolve into 185 00:14:13.879 --> 00:14:18.120 our best set elves. They're coming into our lives is not an accident. 186 00:14:18.759 --> 00:14:24.750 The universe perfectly orchestrated it to give us the appropriate lesson at the exact appropriate 187 00:14:24.830 --> 00:14:30.470 time. Therefore, we must be thankful to such people and have gratitude towards 188 00:14:30.509 --> 00:14:35.429 them, since they contributed towards our growth and learning. The greatest gift that 189 00:14:35.629 --> 00:14:39.220 we can offer in return is practicing what they taught us in all areas of 190 00:14:39.299 --> 00:14:45.740 our life. The invaluable guidance that they offered shall forever live in our hearts. 191 00:14:46.379 --> 00:14:50.419 So, whether someone is in your life for a reason, for a 192 00:14:50.500 --> 00:14:54.850 season or for a lifetime, enjoy them, learn from them and then pass 193 00:14:54.929 --> 00:15:00.370 what you know on to the next person. Until next time. See you 194 00:15:00.370 --> 00:15:05.850 later, snack. Hey Snack, thanks for hanging out with me and listening 195 00:15:05.929 --> 00:15:11.559 to this episode. You can get into every episode over at www dot snack 196 00:15:11.679 --> 00:15:18.159 size podcastcom. And don't forget to register for my email list so I can 197 00:15:18.200 --> 00:15:24.029 keep you in the loop about new episodes, sneak peaks, giveaways and more. 198 00:15:24.590 --> 00:15:31.710 That's www dot snack size podcastcom. Until next time, see you later, 199 00:15:31.789 --> snack.