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May 19, 2020

If You Want Something You Never Had

If You Want Something You Never Had

In this episode, Minneapolis based Drag Queen, Lala Luzious discusses why she hated drag before she loved it and what to do when you don't know what you want to do in life.   Need another snack? Head on over to www.snacksizepodcast.com   If...


In this episode, Minneapolis based Drag Queen, Lala Luzious discusses why she hated drag before she loved it and what to do when you don't know what you want to do in life.   Need another snack? Head on over to www.snacksizepodcast.com   If you are a new listener to Snack Size, we would love to hear from you! Don’t be afraid to say hello at lala@snacksizepodcast.com   Follow Snack Size: The Podcast on Twitter: @podcast_snack  Follow Lala on Instagram: @lalaluzious  _____________   Intro and Interlude Music for "Snack Size"  is Lioness (Instrumental) by DayFox https://soundcloud.com/dayfox
Transcript
WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.199 --> 00:00:05.120 Hey, what's up world? Welcome to snack size, the podcast that will 2 00:00:05.120 --> 00:00:09.869 drag you into your most fabulous life. I'm your host, La La Lushous, 3 00:00:10.070 --> 00:00:13.710 also known as the snack of the twin cities. I decided for myself 4 00:00:13.830 --> 00:00:16.629 that I can be whatever I want to be. So I decided to be 5 00:00:16.789 --> 00:00:20.629 a drag queen, and if I can live my dreams, you can to. 6 00:00:21.070 --> 00:00:24.940 The time has come to believing yourself enough to turn your ideas into more 7 00:00:24.980 --> 00:00:27.980 than mere words, and, no matter what you are doing in life or 8 00:00:28.019 --> 00:00:31.500 where you want to go, I want to help you get there fabulously. 9 00:00:32.020 --> 00:00:41.929 Our ten minutes starts now. Hey, snacks, welcome back to snacks eyes, 10 00:00:42.170 --> 00:00:45.689 and before we get started today, I just want to say thank you 11 00:00:45.929 --> 00:00:49.890 for being on this journey with me. It's been amazing hearing from you and 12 00:00:49.969 --> 00:00:54.439 getting to know all my snack friends all over the world. So if you 13 00:00:54.679 --> 00:00:58.439 are inspired by something on one of the episodes or just want to talk, 14 00:00:58.920 --> 00:01:03.590 you're always welcome to email me at Lala at snack size podcastcom. I mean 15 00:01:03.670 --> 00:01:07.349 it when I say I always afford to hearing from you. I want to 16 00:01:07.390 --> 00:01:11.829 talk about something I feel like I probably should have talked about before now. 17 00:01:11.870 --> 00:01:15.269 I was going to do a completely different topic, but then it occurred to 18 00:01:15.310 --> 00:01:21.459 me that I've been creating this podcast based on a big assumption. Most of 19 00:01:21.500 --> 00:01:26.019 these episode so's have catered to people who know what they're happy and fulfilled life 20 00:01:26.060 --> 00:01:29.500 is and just need a little encouragement to get where they want to go. 21 00:01:30.180 --> 00:01:34.409 Today I want to ask the question, what if you don't know what will 22 00:01:34.489 --> 00:01:37.849 make you happy or what you are passionate about? So, for those of 23 00:01:37.890 --> 00:01:42.530 you out there who don't know, this episode is for you, and for 24 00:01:42.689 --> 00:01:46.329 those of you who do know, or at least think they know, I'm 25 00:01:46.450 --> 00:01:49.599 going to share a few things I did in my life to help me find 26 00:01:49.680 --> 00:01:53.920 what I love, and perhaps it'll help you to further realize that you are 27 00:01:53.000 --> 00:01:59.120 on the right path. The phrase follow your dreams is really the centerpiece of 28 00:01:59.359 --> 00:02:04.709 anything inspirational. It's pretty much the phrase that drives the entire selfhelp world. 29 00:02:05.150 --> 00:02:08.110 We are told from a young age you can be whatever you want to be, 30 00:02:08.629 --> 00:02:12.909 and as kids we all have some idea of what we want to be 31 00:02:13.069 --> 00:02:15.300 when we grow up. I know my dream was to be a chef. 32 00:02:16.099 --> 00:02:21.379 Maybe yours was to be a doctor or a firefighter or a musician. At 33 00:02:21.500 --> 00:02:24.259 that age in your mind, there isn't anything stopping you from doing it. 34 00:02:24.979 --> 00:02:30.569 But then life happens. You mature and your dreams and goals may change. 35 00:02:30.129 --> 00:02:35.330 Plans don't go the way they were intended, you realize more things about life 36 00:02:35.370 --> 00:02:38.650 in the world, or you get distracted with other parts of your life, 37 00:02:38.969 --> 00:02:43.250 which may be important as well, but also not exactly what your dreamed of. 38 00:02:43.569 --> 00:02:46.479 I think it is at this point where many loose sight of their passions. 39 00:02:47.039 --> 00:02:50.879 So, if you can, I want you to go back to the 40 00:02:51.039 --> 00:02:54.479 child in you that wanted something and didn't see any reason why they couldn't have 41 00:02:54.599 --> 00:02:59.750 it. If you can remember how that feels, then you already know what 42 00:02:59.870 --> 00:03:01.909 it's like to have a dream and you know what it's like for it to 43 00:03:01.990 --> 00:03:07.430 feel possible and, even though you have changed a lot since then, know 44 00:03:07.870 --> 00:03:10.469 that it is still possible to feel that way about your life again, and 45 00:03:12.030 --> 00:03:15.939 finding your passion will feel the same way for you today. My first lesson 46 00:03:16.180 --> 00:03:21.500 is a little unusual because it's not something you hear often when it comes to 47 00:03:21.539 --> 00:03:25.259 talking about finding your passion. If someone asks you what you want out of 48 00:03:25.300 --> 00:03:30.689 your life and your answer is I don't know, I want you to know 49 00:03:30.849 --> 00:03:37.370 something, that is okay. There's nothing wrong with not knowing. In fact, 50 00:03:37.650 --> 00:03:40.840 it's a part of finding yourself that everyone goes through. Anyone who knows 51 00:03:40.960 --> 00:03:45.759 what they want out of life at some point didn't know. So except the 52 00:03:45.840 --> 00:03:49.960 fact that you don't know yet, and don't feel bad or rush into anything 53 00:03:50.360 --> 00:03:53.159 just because you feel a need to have a passion. That is not how 54 00:03:53.240 --> 00:03:59.310 this works. It's really the next part that counts. So if someone says 55 00:03:59.349 --> 00:04:01.669 they don't know what they want, they usually get a follow up question of 56 00:04:02.189 --> 00:04:06.949 well, what do you like or what inspires you, which to me is 57 00:04:08.069 --> 00:04:12.340 really asking the same things in just a slightly different way. So, after 58 00:04:12.340 --> 00:04:15.300 you except that you don't know and that that is okay, the next question 59 00:04:15.459 --> 00:04:20.339 you should follow up with is what am I doing about that? It's okay 60 00:04:20.420 --> 00:04:24.569 not to know what you want, but it is not okay not to be 61 00:04:24.649 --> 00:04:28.370 figuring it out. If you haven't found what you want out of life, 62 00:04:28.610 --> 00:04:31.810 then it should always be your goal to actively search for it. I tried 63 00:04:32.209 --> 00:04:36.250 so many things before I found out the drag was what I really love to 64 00:04:36.290 --> 00:04:41.480 do. I played piano, was a swimmer, I tried horseback riding, 65 00:04:41.839 --> 00:04:45.319 was on a rowing team, a speech and debate team, a chess club, 66 00:04:45.439 --> 00:04:48.480 play tennis, played football, and most of those things I enjoyed and 67 00:04:48.560 --> 00:04:51.839 definitely learn from, and some of them I was even really good at. 68 00:04:53.230 --> 00:04:57.910 But it turns out that none of them were my passion. However, if 69 00:04:57.949 --> 00:05:00.310 I had given up on finding what inspire me, then I would never know. 70 00:05:01.230 --> 00:05:06.420 So if you don't know, that's okay, but keep trying, keep 71 00:05:06.500 --> 00:05:11.980 growing, keep learning, keep discovering. It may be the next thing you 72 00:05:12.180 --> 00:05:16.420 try that really inspires you while you were learning and discovering new things in your 73 00:05:16.459 --> 00:05:21.089 life. This second lesson is really essential to finding what you love to do, 74 00:05:21.769 --> 00:05:27.410 and that is you must surrender yourself to all the great things the world 75 00:05:27.449 --> 00:05:31.529 has to offer. In this lifetime, anything is possible, and it's easy 76 00:05:31.569 --> 00:05:35.680 to have preconceived notions about what you should do a shouldn't be doing. These 77 00:05:35.879 --> 00:05:41.360 notions are not your friend when it comes to finding what you love. Instead, 78 00:05:41.879 --> 00:05:46.800 be open to in searching for any experiences you can have until you have 79 00:05:46.920 --> 00:05:50.149 found what you're looking for. I say, if you aren't hurting yourself or 80 00:05:50.230 --> 00:05:56.990 others or being negative or destructive, go for it. You have nothing but 81 00:05:57.189 --> 00:06:00.430 things to gain when you try something new. I want to share a story 82 00:06:00.550 --> 00:06:04.139 with you all, and it's actually something I haven't shared with many people, 83 00:06:04.699 --> 00:06:10.180 but because I love my listeners and there's something to learn, I am willing 84 00:06:10.220 --> 00:06:14.860 to share it today. The first time I went to a drag show I 85 00:06:15.019 --> 00:06:18.209 hated it, or at least hate was what I thought I was feeling. 86 00:06:18.250 --> 00:06:24.329 It made me really uncomfortable because at that point in my life, it challenged 87 00:06:24.529 --> 00:06:29.250 everything I knew about being a man. I remember telling my best friend I 88 00:06:29.970 --> 00:06:33.759 just don't understand why anyone would do that, and his response was, Kevin, 89 00:06:33.800 --> 00:06:39.639 I think you would probably be good at it. My friend saw something 90 00:06:39.680 --> 00:06:44.399 in me that I hadn't seen in myself yet. Clearly a lot has changed 91 00:06:44.439 --> 00:06:47.629 since then, but I was young and new, way less about the world 92 00:06:47.829 --> 00:06:51.829 and about myself than I do now, and in hindsight I realize that I 93 00:06:53.029 --> 00:06:58.910 was probably just scared. There is a preconceived notion that finding your passion is 94 00:06:59.029 --> 00:07:01.860 going to be this one hundred percent happy figuring in your life and when you 95 00:07:02.019 --> 00:07:06.139 find it, the clouds part, the sun shines down and life looks and 96 00:07:06.220 --> 00:07:11.939 feels like a downey commercial. Okay, maybe that example was a little too 97 00:07:11.980 --> 00:07:15.459 much, but you get the point. I can tell you from my experience. 98 00:07:15.730 --> 00:07:18.610 The first time I saw my passion staring right back at me scared me 99 00:07:19.050 --> 00:07:24.050 because I had never seen it before and I wasn't in touch with the parts 100 00:07:24.089 --> 00:07:28.569 of me that would eventually grow to love it. I can promise you that 101 00:07:28.689 --> 00:07:31.519 finding what you love will bring you happiness in this life, but the process 102 00:07:31.560 --> 00:07:38.639 of finding it can sometimes be scary and uncomfortable. Trying new things and living 103 00:07:38.680 --> 00:07:42.959 your life outside of whatever box it is in is a challenge and not easy 104 00:07:43.079 --> 00:07:46.589 to do, but you have to be open to allowing that whatever it is 105 00:07:46.750 --> 00:07:51.430 will make you happy and fulfilled to come into your life. As American President 106 00:07:51.670 --> 00:07:56.990 Thomas Jefferson said, if you want something you never had, you must be 107 00:07:57.189 --> 00:08:01.620 willing to do something you have never done. Remember that vulnerability is a strength. 108 00:08:03.100 --> 00:08:07.019 Be Open to anything, embrace each experience and learning opportunity you have in 109 00:08:07.060 --> 00:08:11.819 your life. This will keep you on the path not only to finding what 110 00:08:11.939 --> 00:08:15.889 you love, but also on the path to a happy and fulfilled life. 111 00:08:16.170 --> 00:08:20.930 When you have found your passion, it will awaken things in you that you 112 00:08:20.089 --> 00:08:26.129 have never felt before. You will be both excited and nervous in a way 113 00:08:26.170 --> 00:08:30.199 that is almost disorienting, and the only way you can seem to pull yourself 114 00:08:30.199 --> 00:08:33.840 back together is through pursuing what you love, and that is where my third 115 00:08:33.879 --> 00:08:39.240 lesson comes in. Once you have found your passion, develop it. Remember, 116 00:08:39.240 --> 00:08:43.789 at the beginning of this episode I was talking about the phrase follow your 117 00:08:43.789 --> 00:08:48.470 dreams. The phrase is inspiring, but what many don't take into consideration is 118 00:08:48.549 --> 00:08:54.389 that inspiration is just the first step. The good news is that once something 119 00:08:54.470 --> 00:08:58.620 inspires you, it feels easier to put in the work and develop and grow 120 00:08:58.779 --> 00:09:03.700 and whatever it is you love to do. Also, don't limit yourself to 121 00:09:03.820 --> 00:09:07.460 one thing to make you happy and fulfilled in life. Once you have found 122 00:09:07.500 --> 00:09:11.250 the first thing that truly inspires you, there are going to be lots of 123 00:09:11.330 --> 00:09:13.850 things you may find along the way. Being a drag Queen, let me 124 00:09:15.009 --> 00:09:20.409 into my love for designing and creating costumes, directing in hosting shows and now 125 00:09:20.730 --> 00:09:24.120 podcasting, all of which were talents I did not know I had until I 126 00:09:24.279 --> 00:09:28.639 started do in drag. What I did was take time and develop each of 127 00:09:28.679 --> 00:09:33.159 those skills so when I need to use them, I know what I'm doing. 128 00:09:33.879 --> 00:09:37.799 For you, this may be different. Let's say you really like playing 129 00:09:37.879 --> 00:09:41.389 sports so much that you'd like to be a coach. Through coaching, you 130 00:09:41.509 --> 00:09:46.470 find that you really like motivating people. So, in addition to coaching, 131 00:09:46.909 --> 00:09:50.429 you also want to be a motivational speaker. This is an example of how 132 00:09:50.549 --> 00:09:56.299 your passions and inspirations can lead you to other amazing things in your life, 133 00:09:56.620 --> 00:10:00.860 and that is something to really look forward to. But if you are one 134 00:10:00.899 --> 00:10:03.379 of the people that don't know what they want yet, it really is all 135 00:10:03.419 --> 00:10:09.009 about finding that first thing that lights you up. So remember it's okay not 136 00:10:09.169 --> 00:10:13.049 to know. So render yourself to all the great things in this world and 137 00:10:13.809 --> 00:10:18.370 you will know you found what you're looking for if it awakens a part of 138 00:10:18.490 --> 00:10:22.799 you you didn't realize existed until next time. See you later, snack. 139 00:10:24.960 --> 00:10:28.960 Hey Snack, I hope you enjoyed this episode of snack size. I also 140 00:10:28.000 --> 00:10:33.840 want to let you know that this podcast is now an iheartradio download the iheartradio 141 00:10:33.960 --> 00:10:37.669 APP and follow snack size the podcast so you don't miss out on any of 142 00:10:37.789 --> 00:10:45.350 my content exclusive to iheartradio. Also check out my new website, www dot 143 00:10:45.549 --> 00:10:50.659 snack size podcastcom, where you can listen to all your favorite episodes and more. 144 00:10:50.700 --> 00:10:52.580 Until next time, go be fabulous.