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May 19, 2020

Double Snack with Blair St. Clair

Double Snack with Blair St. Clair

In this episode, Minneapolis based Drag Queen, Lala Luzious chats with recording artist and RuPaul's Drag Race All-Star Blair St. Clair about her life, new projects, and her secret to a happy and fulfilled life! Follow Blair on Instagram...


In this episode, Minneapolis based Drag Queen, Lala Luzious chats with recording artist and RuPaul's Drag Race All-Star Blair St. Clair about her life, new projects, and her secret to a happy and fulfilled life! Follow Blair on Instagram (@blairst.clair) and don't miss her on VH1's RuPaul's Drag Race All-Stars 5! Also, be sure to preview and purchase her new single "Empty" on Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/empty-single/1510617296 Need another snack? Head on over to www.snacksizepodcast.com If you are a new listener to Snack Size, we would love to hear from you! Don’t be afraid to say hello at lala@snacksizepodcast.com Follow Snack Size: The Podcast on Twitter: @podcast_snack Follow Lala on Instagram: @lalaluzious _____________ Intro and Interlude Music for "Snack Size"  is Lioness (Instrumental) by DayFox https://soundcloud.com/dayfox

Transcript

WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.320 --> 00:00:05.200 Hey, what's up world? Welcome to snack size, the podcast that will 2 00:00:05.240 --> 00:00:09.949 drag you into your most fabulous life. I'm your host, Lalla Lushes, 3 00:00:10.189 --> 00:00:13.949 also known as the snack of the twin cities. I decided for myself that 4 00:00:14.029 --> 00:00:16.910 I can be whatever I want to be. So I decided to be a 5 00:00:17.070 --> 00:00:20.750 drag queen, and if I can live my dreams, you can to. 6 00:00:21.149 --> 00:00:25.300 The time has come to believing yourself enough to turn your ideas into more than 7 00:00:25.339 --> 00:00:28.300 mere words. And, no matter what you were doing in life or where 8 00:00:28.379 --> 00:00:31.980 you want to go, I want to help you get there fabulously. Our 9 00:00:32.100 --> 00:01:15.310 double snack episode starts now. Hey snacks, that was the latest single from 10 00:01:15.349 --> 00:01:19.620 our special double snack guests today, called empty. This guess is an American 11 00:01:19.700 --> 00:01:23.980 singer and drag queen who you watch on Rupaul's drag race season ten, and 12 00:01:25.219 --> 00:01:29.620 now you will be watching her on Rupaul's drag race all stars five. In 13 00:01:29.819 --> 00:01:34.129 addition to drag this diva to the world by storm as a recording artist with 14 00:01:34.290 --> 00:01:37.650 our first album, call my life, which peaked at number one on the 15 00:01:37.769 --> 00:01:42.450 billboard electronic dance charts. I do declare our guests today is Blair St Clair. 16 00:01:42.769 --> 00:01:49.599 Let's give her a call. Hi, Blair, welcome to snack sighs. 17 00:01:49.200 --> 00:01:52.239 Hey, thanks so much for having me and thinking of me. I 18 00:01:52.359 --> 00:01:56.079 am so excited to have you here with us today. For those listening, 19 00:01:56.200 --> 00:01:59.560 Blair and I know each other because we were both drag Queens and Indiana, 20 00:01:59.920 --> 00:02:02.390 and I think that our last show was either three or four years ago when 21 00:02:02.430 --> 00:02:07.790 we performed at my college in Crawfordsville, Indiana. So it's been a while 22 00:02:07.829 --> 00:02:10.110 since we've caught up. Let me know how you are and what's going on 23 00:02:10.229 --> 00:02:14.229 in Blair's world today. Oh my gosh. First of all, was that 24 00:02:14.270 --> 00:02:17.580 at Wabash we perform, seriously, the last time we work together? Yeah, 25 00:02:17.659 --> 00:02:20.419 that was the last time we work together. You know what, I 26 00:02:20.780 --> 00:02:23.099 did come see you when you were in Minneapolis, so at least I got 27 00:02:23.139 --> 00:02:28.300 to see you, and you've grown so much and thank you crazy thank you 28 00:02:28.419 --> 00:02:31.490 so much that. Well, Wabash was just asn't and seventeen and you must 29 00:02:31.490 --> 00:02:36.250 have seen me into Thousan like. I guess maybe nineteen or and now it's 30 00:02:36.250 --> 00:02:38.569 twenty five. What? Way Too long. It's been way too long. 31 00:02:38.729 --> 00:02:40.849 You know, it was a really interesting time for both of us because you 32 00:02:40.969 --> 00:02:46.759 were getting ready to go on Rupole's drag race and I was actually leaving Indiana 33 00:02:46.840 --> 00:02:50.639 to move to Minneapolis, and one of the things that has been so inspiring 34 00:02:50.800 --> 00:02:53.639 for me is following your journey and seeing how well you've been doing, and 35 00:02:53.840 --> 00:02:58.080 it in turn, has inspired me to do well here in my city. 36 00:02:58.400 --> 00:03:00.310 So thank you so much. I'm so proud of you. Well, thank 37 00:03:00.349 --> 00:03:05.069 you. I mean to answer your question of what's going on in my life 38 00:03:05.069 --> 00:03:08.270 right now. First of all, I hope you are staying happy, healthy, 39 00:03:08.310 --> 00:03:13.219 safe. I hope you're staying at home, because, girl, I 40 00:03:13.539 --> 00:03:15.419 hope everyone stays home so I can go back out the clubs. So we 41 00:03:15.500 --> 00:03:20.300 call okay, doing our gigs again, but it's points and yes, but 42 00:03:20.620 --> 00:03:23.139 in my life today I've just been trying to stay busy. I started a 43 00:03:23.219 --> 00:03:28.009 little mini wig business. It's called here by Blair. Yeah, so that's 44 00:03:28.009 --> 00:03:30.129 been keeping me busy and happy at home, to keep me doing something during 45 00:03:30.169 --> 00:03:34.370 the day at home, and I've just been trying to keep the hustle going. 46 00:03:34.610 --> 00:03:38.169 How about you? I'm doing really well. Like you, I'm not 47 00:03:38.370 --> 00:03:43.520 performing right now, but because of that I've began this new journey into podcasting 48 00:03:43.639 --> 00:03:47.360 and it's been an amazing experience. So you and I started together and the 49 00:03:47.479 --> 00:03:52.240 boot camp of drag which is Indiana, and I want to take you back 50 00:03:52.360 --> 00:03:55.710 to right after you had one mis Gay Indiana, which is an annual pageant 51 00:03:55.750 --> 00:04:00.750 for drag queens that occurs every year within the state of Indiana. You and 52 00:04:00.830 --> 00:04:04.389 I were talking and you said that you were struggling with the pressure of people's 53 00:04:04.469 --> 00:04:10.219 expectations. One of the things I discussed on this podcast is how people and 54 00:04:10.379 --> 00:04:15.620 societies expectations can really affect us when it comes to living a happy and fulfilled 55 00:04:15.659 --> 00:04:17.459 life. So I want to start by talking a little bit about how you 56 00:04:17.540 --> 00:04:21.100 were able to push out that negativity and get to where you are now. 57 00:04:21.459 --> 00:04:25.129 You know, it's so much easier send than done. So many people so 58 00:04:25.250 --> 00:04:29.449 many times and say to block out the pressures of everybody else, and you 59 00:04:29.610 --> 00:04:32.370 just do you and I honestly would love to say that it's been an easy 60 00:04:32.370 --> 00:04:35.050 journey and it's been an easy ride and that I just said, you know 61 00:04:35.089 --> 00:04:36.889 what, I'm going to do what I want to do and I went for 62 00:04:38.009 --> 00:04:42.279 it. But that's not really what happened. I feel like what really kind 63 00:04:42.279 --> 00:04:46.800 of propelled me and was push me to find where I am today is I 64 00:04:46.920 --> 00:04:50.600 took little mini steps to like finding what I wanted to do and how to 65 00:04:50.680 --> 00:04:53.829 get there, and it just kind of was like, I don't really know 66 00:04:53.870 --> 00:04:56.149 what I want to do. It's kind of like a senior in high school 67 00:04:56.149 --> 00:04:57.910 and they're saying, Hey, what do you want to do? What's your 68 00:04:57.910 --> 00:05:00.149 major and where you're going to school? You have no idea, and so 69 00:05:00.310 --> 00:05:02.149 I kind of thought about that the same way. I was like, you 70 00:05:02.230 --> 00:05:08.699 know what, I'm not planning for my biggest career move today. I'm just 71 00:05:08.899 --> 00:05:12.139 going to do what makes me happy today and keep doing whatever makes me happy 72 00:05:12.180 --> 00:05:15.180 or brings me joy and start trying those things little by a little and eventually, 73 00:05:15.420 --> 00:05:19.500 like setting small goals and a couple large goals that I can maybe attain 74 00:05:20.019 --> 00:05:24.889 that were realistic. I kind of was able to find this way of being 75 00:05:24.970 --> 00:05:27.930 able to do what makes me happy that I'm doing today. You have been 76 00:05:27.970 --> 00:05:30.449 very open about the ups and downs in your life. I was actually reading 77 00:05:30.490 --> 00:05:36.079 an article on billboardcom and you said it's just amazing and so empowering that I'm 78 00:05:36.079 --> 00:05:41.000 able to turn those negative experience in my life into love today, and that 79 00:05:41.160 --> 00:05:45.120 in itself has just been an amazing, incredible journey for me. Can you 80 00:05:45.319 --> 00:05:48.759 talk about those challenges and how you have turned them into positives? I went 81 00:05:48.879 --> 00:05:51.709 through this really dark place in my life where I was just mad, I 82 00:05:51.829 --> 00:05:57.870 was angry, when I'm through always like different stages of grief, and I 83 00:05:57.990 --> 00:06:00.189 had to have someone tell me that you have to feel those emotions, you 84 00:06:00.269 --> 00:06:05.579 have to let live those emotions and get through those emotions to find happiness, 85 00:06:05.620 --> 00:06:09.980 or else you'll never be happy. So, instead of me looking at situations 86 00:06:10.060 --> 00:06:15.620 and they've happened to me in the past, of trauma or feeling like I, 87 00:06:15.300 --> 00:06:17.339 you know, wasn't good enough for a feeling like I was robbed the 88 00:06:17.379 --> 00:06:20.970 situations or even drag race, instead of saying I wish I'd made it to 89 00:06:21.050 --> 00:06:25.290 the end, I wish I'd won it said, I've started saying, wow, 90 00:06:25.329 --> 00:06:30.449 I'm so proud of the accomplishment that I made within myself to go film 91 00:06:30.449 --> 00:06:32.639 a national television, to put myself out in a raw, vulnerable state, 92 00:06:33.000 --> 00:06:36.360 and I did that and wow, you should cheer yourself on. That's amazing 93 00:06:36.439 --> 00:06:40.160 itself. You should be really proud of yourself. You know, there are 94 00:06:40.319 --> 00:06:42.839 things that have happened to me in the past that I've looked at and I've 95 00:06:42.879 --> 00:06:46.189 said, you know what, it's not my fault that I felt trauma or 96 00:06:46.269 --> 00:06:50.750 that I felt victimized, and instead of saying I'm a victim, I started 97 00:06:50.790 --> 00:06:55.709 saying I'm a survivor, and I think that's what helped. Wow, that 98 00:06:56.149 --> 00:07:00.310 is absolutely beautiful. Taking back the power that negative situations can have over you 99 00:07:00.620 --> 00:07:05.220 is so hard to do, but it's essential to finding happiness and success in 100 00:07:05.339 --> 00:07:10.420 life. Speaking of drag race, when you were on the show, Ross 101 00:07:10.500 --> 00:07:14.060 Matthews had to critique you and he said that he didn't understand you, and 102 00:07:14.180 --> 00:07:17.089 I know that was something you really took to heart. But now it is 103 00:07:17.329 --> 00:07:21.209 very clear to the world that you understand who you are today. I'd love 104 00:07:21.290 --> 00:07:25.089 to hear about out how you found your sense of self and the work you 105 00:07:25.209 --> 00:07:29.129 did to find that after hearing that critique. What Ross Matthews said, and 106 00:07:29.329 --> 00:07:32.120 I never heard it in person, I watched it on TV because this is 107 00:07:32.160 --> 00:07:35.000 when the judges were talking. And what Ross says, what about me? 108 00:07:35.160 --> 00:07:40.160 He said I don't think she's fully baked, like I don't think she is 109 00:07:40.600 --> 00:07:43.959 fully there. She's fully ready, she's got all that it takes, but 110 00:07:44.240 --> 00:07:46.589 just not right now. What initially took it in. I was upset and 111 00:07:46.670 --> 00:07:49.750 I was like that's not true, I I had what it takes. And 112 00:07:49.829 --> 00:07:51.509 then I thought about it. I was like, you need to remove your 113 00:07:51.550 --> 00:07:57.110 ego from his comment and actually analyze it. And he said nothing against me, 114 00:07:57.589 --> 00:08:00.259 he just said it wasn't ready yet. So I thought, okay, 115 00:08:00.660 --> 00:08:03.500 what is it that's maybe not ready? And I was like maybe I just 116 00:08:03.579 --> 00:08:05.019 need to rebrand a little bit and I need to find out who I really 117 00:08:05.060 --> 00:08:11.180 am. So I sat down and I started thinking about my drag and, 118 00:08:11.300 --> 00:08:13.850 you know, coming from Indiana, were kind of told how drag is supposed 119 00:08:13.889 --> 00:08:18.490 to be and and you do this, that and the other, and that's 120 00:08:18.490 --> 00:08:20.769 what we'll let you go on stage. And I feel like when I was 121 00:08:20.930 --> 00:08:22.449 kind of starting in drag, I was told that, you know, my 122 00:08:22.569 --> 00:08:24.970 makeup, for instance, was supposed to look a certain way. So I 123 00:08:26.050 --> 00:08:26.560 was like, you know, what I'm going to do, I want to 124 00:08:26.600 --> 00:08:33.320 do and what I want my face to be is to be as genetically female 125 00:08:33.480 --> 00:08:37.279 looking as possible. I really wanted to reflect what I love about Dragon, 126 00:08:37.320 --> 00:08:41.789 that is the art of female and personation for me. For me, that's 127 00:08:41.830 --> 00:08:45.350 what I love about drag. So it's like, how can I make that 128 00:08:45.470 --> 00:08:48.230 the biggest that and best I can be. So I started like reaching out 129 00:08:48.230 --> 00:08:50.909 to make up artist and I was like teach me more things as of watching 130 00:08:50.909 --> 00:08:54.230 more videos, I started going to dance class regularly, I started going to 131 00:08:54.269 --> 00:09:00.500 acting classes regularly and took Improv I took film acting versus like theater acting, 132 00:09:00.899 --> 00:09:03.379 and I just started like engulfing myself into everything and I was just like, 133 00:09:03.419 --> 00:09:05.379 I'm a sponge, I'm going to set my ego aside for everything and just 134 00:09:05.500 --> 00:09:09.940 learn and I'm going to take tons of criticism in a positive way. So 135 00:09:09.980 --> 00:09:13.610 it's all positive criticism and just think, how can I make myself better and 136 00:09:13.649 --> 00:09:16.529 better and better, because I want to be the absolute best, and that 137 00:09:16.769 --> 00:09:20.250 is so important to living a happy and successful life. You always have to 138 00:09:20.370 --> 00:09:24.000 be working, because once you would take your dream, you may have another 139 00:09:24.120 --> 00:09:26.320 one, right, and what you're going to have to do is know how 140 00:09:26.360 --> 00:09:30.799 to mold and change to be able to meet that dream. Yes, everything 141 00:09:30.840 --> 00:09:33.279 leads to our next thing. It's really a building process. I'm so glad 142 00:09:33.279 --> 00:09:37.279 you said that, because at first I thought my dream was going to drag 143 00:09:37.320 --> 00:09:39.350 race and then I did and I was like, well, what am I 144 00:09:39.389 --> 00:09:41.549 going to do now? So I had just set new dreams and I was 145 00:09:41.669 --> 00:09:46.269 talking with Miss Fame and I said, uh, I hate looking back at 146 00:09:46.269 --> 00:09:48.789 some of the pictures. I was like, I look and I say like, 147 00:09:48.909 --> 00:09:50.669 what the heck was I thinking, like why did I do? I 148 00:09:50.750 --> 00:09:52.299 make up what I was wearing that outfit? Why did I do my hair 149 00:09:52.379 --> 00:09:56.500 like that? And she said, girl, you got to stop. She's 150 00:09:56.539 --> 00:09:58.700 like you have to look at those moments and be grateful for them, because 151 00:09:58.740 --> 00:10:01.779 if you hadn't had that moment, you wouldn't be where you are today. 152 00:10:03.019 --> 00:10:05.620 And she also said, and you know what, today, as you're talking 153 00:10:05.620 --> 00:10:07.129 to me, you're going to look back at a picture from today and think, 154 00:10:07.289 --> 00:10:11.129 girl, what was I thinking? And she said and she said that's 155 00:10:11.129 --> 00:10:15.330 because you're growing and it's and if you're not growing then you should just stop, 156 00:10:15.450 --> 00:10:18.529 because the ability to grow is, honestly, what's going to make you 157 00:10:18.610 --> 00:10:22.200 amazing. Another struggle you've discussed publicly is some ups and downs with your family, 158 00:10:22.279 --> 00:10:26.120 particularly your mother. For the listeners who may be having their own struggles 159 00:10:26.159 --> 00:10:30.399 with family, can you tell me a little bit about those challenges and how 160 00:10:30.440 --> 00:10:35.629 your relationship is today? It's so interesting because for the longest time I was 161 00:10:35.669 --> 00:10:41.029 searching for the validation of so many people because I was so insecure and I 162 00:10:41.070 --> 00:10:43.389 didn't know that that what was going on the back of my mind. So 163 00:10:43.549 --> 00:10:46.830 not only did I want the validation of my mother, but I also wanted 164 00:10:46.830 --> 00:10:50.340 the validation of the world. And then, slowly but surely, I started 165 00:10:50.460 --> 00:10:56.820 receiving, obviously, more and more validation of comments and subscribers and people being 166 00:10:56.860 --> 00:11:03.379 in my life, and my life overnight changed drastically and I realized that what 167 00:11:03.539 --> 00:11:07.009 I was seeking for so long was this validation of other people. Once I 168 00:11:07.090 --> 00:11:11.850 had it, nothing within me changed and I finally kind of decided that I 169 00:11:13.049 --> 00:11:18.639 needed to love me first for myself to really feel that that sense of happiness 170 00:11:18.720 --> 00:11:22.840 and sense of self worth. And my mom did the same thing for me, 171 00:11:24.360 --> 00:11:30.559 like I so badly needed my parents to validate who I was and my 172 00:11:30.759 --> 00:11:33.230 career and my choices and what I've done. And even having that, I 173 00:11:33.429 --> 00:11:41.230 realized that I needed that, but for me specifically. Until I accepted their 174 00:11:41.350 --> 00:11:45.990 love and their validation and choosing to love myself first, that's the first time 175 00:11:46.070 --> 00:11:50.179 when I started feeling wow, I'm doing okay. For me, it was 176 00:11:50.220 --> 00:11:52.940 all about telling myself you are good enough and you have to believe that and 177 00:11:54.059 --> 00:11:58.659 you are strong enough and you are good looking enough and smart enough and good 178 00:11:58.700 --> 00:12:01.649 enough for this world. One day I kind of woke up and I started 179 00:12:01.730 --> 00:12:03.970 believing that, little by little, and that for me and my journey was 180 00:12:05.049 --> 00:12:09.049 like when everything changed. Would you say it was more like a fake until 181 00:12:09.090 --> 00:12:11.769 you make it type thing, where it's like, you know, today I'm 182 00:12:11.769 --> 00:12:15.289 going to try to believe in myself and then eat. The more and more 183 00:12:15.370 --> 00:12:18.559 you did it, the more and more it became real. Absolutely I'd be 184 00:12:18.559 --> 00:12:20.320 lying to you if I told you I'm so secure with myself today. I 185 00:12:20.639 --> 00:12:24.080 love myself fully. Today, I am have my life together today, because 186 00:12:24.120 --> 00:12:26.559 that's not true and it never will be true, and that's okay. I've 187 00:12:26.559 --> 00:12:31.990 accepted that fact because I've become selfaware enough to know that I'm going to have 188 00:12:31.190 --> 00:12:33.870 ebb and flows in life and instead of having, like writing, a roller 189 00:12:33.870 --> 00:12:37.149 coaster were I'm super high and Super Low, I try to now, I 190 00:12:37.269 --> 00:12:41.629 know this is such a dad joke, but I try to like ride the 191 00:12:41.669 --> 00:12:46.019 Lasagnian noodle where just like it's like a little tiny ebbs and flows instead of 192 00:12:46.019 --> 00:12:48.820 those really big ones. So I have different coping mechanisms today. So if 193 00:12:48.820 --> 00:12:52.580 I'm feeling down or not able to like fake it until I make it, 194 00:12:52.659 --> 00:12:54.419 I call someone and be like Hey, I'm feeling this way. I got 195 00:12:54.500 --> 00:12:56.940 to be honest, I gotta let you know I'm upset. I saw this 196 00:12:58.019 --> 00:13:00.250 comment somewhere, it hurt me or this or that and the other, and 197 00:13:00.370 --> 00:13:01.809 someone has to kind of shake me a little bit, get me back to 198 00:13:03.049 --> 00:13:05.529 my roots in the to where I was, and that helps so much, 199 00:13:05.529 --> 00:13:09.250 because then it a broken brain can't fix itself. So if you're kind of 200 00:13:09.289 --> 00:13:11.610 in this Rut, you can't necessarily always talk yourself out of it. You 201 00:13:11.649 --> 00:13:13.559 got to reach out and that helps me the most. Do you read the 202 00:13:13.639 --> 00:13:18.960 comments? Um, I love to say I didn't, but sometimes I do. 203 00:13:18.159 --> 00:13:20.519 Yeah, it's yes and no. So if it's something that I put 204 00:13:20.559 --> 00:13:22.919 out, like content that I'm really proud of, I want to see that 205 00:13:24.000 --> 00:13:26.950 other people like it too. But then you you're going to get those hateful 206 00:13:28.029 --> 00:13:30.950 comments if they're going to be there, and I have to sit back and 207 00:13:31.029 --> 00:13:33.549 remind myself. Okay, I'm proud of what I did, I like what 208 00:13:33.629 --> 00:13:37.990 I did and I'm just going to delete the comment. If it's negative, 209 00:13:37.990 --> 00:13:39.950 I delete it. It's out of sight, out of mind, and it's 210 00:13:39.950 --> 00:13:41.860 no longer there. I struggle a lot but the same types of things in 211 00:13:41.980 --> 00:13:45.700 my life, and one of the ways I deal with it is that I 212 00:13:45.860 --> 00:13:48.899 focus my energy on things that are going to help me grow. It's really 213 00:13:48.940 --> 00:13:54.259 important to surround yourself with activities and people that fill your cup and not take 214 00:13:54.340 --> 00:13:56.730 from it. And there's the other end too, is like, who is 215 00:13:56.809 --> 00:13:58.769 making this comment? Why is their opinion of me more important than my own 216 00:13:58.769 --> 00:14:03.090 opinion of me? Exactly? I have to ask myself that could question when 217 00:14:03.090 --> 00:14:05.090 I could be a hundred positive comments in a room, but it takes just 218 00:14:05.210 --> 00:14:09.519 that one negative one and you know, for some reason I'm like why do 219 00:14:09.720 --> 00:14:15.240 why do I think about that one? And it's because that one comment didn't 220 00:14:15.240 --> 00:14:18.320 want to validate me, and that's the problem. It's like, Whoa, 221 00:14:18.600 --> 00:14:20.320 I don't need that. I need to remember that all I need is me 222 00:14:20.679 --> 00:14:24.470 and if I liked it, that's all that matters. I'd love for you 223 00:14:24.509 --> 00:14:28.909 to talk about how your drag and your music and all your creativity helps you 224 00:14:28.029 --> 00:14:31.830 the happy and successful life and how those things reflect who you are today. 225 00:14:33.350 --> 00:14:37.029 It's changed so much because originally I went into everything that I was doing as 226 00:14:37.269 --> 00:14:39.860 thinking like hey, you want to grow, you want to learn, because 227 00:14:39.860 --> 00:14:45.419 there are obviously professionals around you all the time. So I would always have 228 00:14:45.539 --> 00:14:48.820 my opinion but kind of not speak it fully because I would think like, 229 00:14:48.019 --> 00:14:52.299 oh, I don't necessarily agree with them, but obviously they are, let's 230 00:14:52.340 --> 00:14:54.929 say, photographers. Obviously there a photographer. They know what they're talking about. 231 00:14:54.929 --> 00:14:56.330 It's their profession. I'm going to listen to them because they know. 232 00:14:56.450 --> 00:15:01.769 But I actually have gotten bit in the ass so many times for doing it, 233 00:15:01.009 --> 00:15:03.769 because I didn't just listen to my gut and I've realized I was like, 234 00:15:03.769 --> 00:15:07.600 I might not be a professional photographer her instance, but I do know 235 00:15:07.679 --> 00:15:11.039 what I like, and so I used to kind of a sit back and 236 00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:13.519 let others steer the wheel, and now I feel like I'm in full control 237 00:15:13.600 --> 00:15:16.039 in the driver's seat and I tell People Mc no, I don't like that, 238 00:15:16.320 --> 00:15:18.559 or yes, I do like that, or it's not all the way 239 00:15:18.639 --> 00:15:24.070 there. I'm looking for this, and my drags, esthetic and character has 240 00:15:24.149 --> 00:15:28.590 changed so much because I think now it's exactly what I want it to be 241 00:15:30.230 --> 00:15:33.309 and I'm in control. Finally, now let me ask you. Did you 242 00:15:33.549 --> 00:15:37.100 have other dreams, of goals? Before you found dry Oh yes, actually, 243 00:15:37.100 --> 00:15:39.059 I found drag because of my initial dreaming goal, which was to be 244 00:15:39.100 --> 00:15:43.700 on Broadway, and then I was cast in a musical called Lakaja fall as 245 00:15:43.740 --> 00:15:48.259 a drag queen and I had never done drag, I never watch drag race, 246 00:15:48.299 --> 00:15:50.610 I didn't know much about drag culture, but it was that show that 247 00:15:50.690 --> 00:15:52.769 taught me all about dragon, what it was about and where it's from, 248 00:15:52.889 --> 00:15:56.289 and I was just like, this is such a special art. This, 249 00:15:56.610 --> 00:15:58.370 I think, is what I want to do. So correct me if I'm 250 00:15:58.409 --> 00:16:03.929 wrong. Before all the driveway stuff happened, you had started doing drag full 251 00:16:03.009 --> 00:16:07.159 time for a little bit. Right. Yes, I had. So when 252 00:16:07.320 --> 00:16:11.080 you decided to do drag full time and make it your career, do you 253 00:16:11.240 --> 00:16:15.039 remember that moment and what was your biggest fear at that time, and have 254 00:16:15.240 --> 00:16:18.279 you overcome it and how did you do it? Yeah, I knew that 255 00:16:18.399 --> 00:16:21.870 that's what I wanted to do. I just wanted to perform and there was 256 00:16:21.990 --> 00:16:26.350 nothing else and I knew that was very scary because, as a contractor, 257 00:16:26.509 --> 00:16:29.590 I'm not receiving a w two in the mail at the end of the year 258 00:16:29.629 --> 00:16:33.700 from a job that I'm working at. That that just a defile a tax 259 00:16:33.740 --> 00:16:37.500 return. You know, that means I am literally going from Gig to Gig 260 00:16:37.580 --> 00:16:41.620 to Gig and that is my income. And I made kind of a schedule 261 00:16:41.659 --> 00:16:44.820 for myself. I said, okay, I know how much I generally make 262 00:16:45.100 --> 00:16:48.409 her Gig, I know how rough how much roughly I make in tips per 263 00:16:48.409 --> 00:16:52.169 night, and I can ill shoot low that way out. Hopefully I'll come 264 00:16:52.210 --> 00:16:55.850 out even higher than when I was thinking. And I just scheduled out my 265 00:16:55.970 --> 00:16:56.929 life and I was like, okay, you have this much money a week 266 00:16:56.929 --> 00:17:02.080 for entertainment, you have this much money a week to spend on groceries, 267 00:17:02.120 --> 00:17:06.400 you have this much money to spend on miscellaneous and then everything else is rent 268 00:17:06.519 --> 00:17:08.119 and you'll make and I was going to meet rent and I had the extra 269 00:17:08.160 --> 00:17:11.039 money left over and I knew that as long as I had the essentials paid 270 00:17:11.079 --> 00:17:15.279 for and I was being responsible and I had a plan and schedule, then 271 00:17:15.319 --> 00:17:17.309 I could probably do it. But I know how long is going to last. 272 00:17:17.630 --> 00:17:19.029 So that's the main reason why I did for drag ris, because I 273 00:17:19.029 --> 00:17:22.150 was like, this is going to be my career and I know that's probably 274 00:17:22.150 --> 00:17:25.549 the only thing that's going to give me the most momentum in the largest platform, 275 00:17:26.150 --> 00:17:29.349 but that's how I initially started. It was terrifying, but what it 276 00:17:29.390 --> 00:17:32.619 sounds like you do is that you actually sat down and made a plan and 277 00:17:32.700 --> 00:17:36.740 you believed in that plan. And I think that no matter what anyone wants 278 00:17:36.779 --> 00:17:40.140 to do, there's always going to be that fear of getting started, and 279 00:17:40.380 --> 00:17:42.500 the fact that you were, if I recall cruch of, you were able 280 00:17:42.619 --> 00:17:47.450 to pretty quickly, like get the bookings and get the success, you know, 281 00:17:47.569 --> 00:17:49.809 before drag Ray, said that you could make it, and I think, 282 00:17:49.970 --> 00:17:53.009 even though you say it's terrifying, I think that it's awesome that you 283 00:17:53.130 --> 00:17:57.049 still dove in head first and look, it turned out even more than your 284 00:17:57.049 --> 00:18:00.279 wildest dreams. I've yeah, well, thanks. It was really scary to 285 00:18:00.319 --> 00:18:03.480 begin with and I think I was really lucky because I had just went Miss 286 00:18:03.480 --> 00:18:07.359 Ga Indiana, so a lot of the bars around Indianda of her wanting to 287 00:18:07.400 --> 00:18:12.069 book me. The main ingredient to me starting my career is being Crown Miss 288 00:18:12.109 --> 00:18:15.430 Gaydiana. Like I'm really grateful for that. I'll always, always go on 289 00:18:15.470 --> 00:18:19.190 record saying that when you look back on your whole life at all the lessons 290 00:18:19.230 --> 00:18:22.549 you've learned, what would you say the secret is to living a happy and 291 00:18:22.630 --> 00:18:30.299 fulfilled life? That is a great question. I'd say, looking back after 292 00:18:30.779 --> 00:18:37.619 everything that I've either experienced, done, tried or been through, the secret 293 00:18:37.779 --> 00:18:42.970 for me believe in yourself and have confidence, make strong choices, stand by 294 00:18:44.049 --> 00:18:47.769 this choices, deliver through the consequences, good or bad, and deliver from 295 00:18:47.809 --> 00:18:52.490 them and continue to always stay true to yourself. That itself should create a 296 00:18:52.609 --> 00:18:57.119 fulfilling and happy and healthy life, because inevitably you're living for you and I 297 00:18:57.200 --> 00:19:00.519 feel like that is the healthiest course of action. Thank you. Thank you 298 00:19:00.640 --> 00:19:04.440 so much, Blair, for coming on snack size. It was amazing to 299 00:19:04.559 --> 00:19:08.440 catch up with you. So, if we want us a sickening wig, 300 00:19:08.640 --> 00:19:11.109 how do we get it? Oh girl, I'm all always make it out 301 00:19:11.150 --> 00:19:15.190 in those sickning weeks. For anyone, you can head over to my second 302 00:19:15.230 --> 00:19:18.950 instagram. My first instagram page is at Blair St Clair on Instagram and twitter, 303 00:19:18.109 --> 00:19:21.910 but my second instagram page, where I do all custom hair orders, 304 00:19:22.190 --> 00:19:25.180 is at hair by Blair official. So feel free to check that out. 305 00:19:25.299 --> 00:19:29.980 And I'm really excited to announce that I have my second album. So I'm 306 00:19:29.980 --> 00:19:33.900 really, really excited about that and that premiere is coming up soon as well, 307 00:19:33.980 --> 00:19:36.859 so day tune and all social media platforms, so that where you can 308 00:19:36.940 --> 00:19:40.890 be the first one to hear or see new things. Well, I am 309 00:19:41.049 --> 00:19:45.289 going to be glued. I cannot wait. I Love, love hearing your 310 00:19:45.289 --> 00:19:48.809 music. Do you know they actually played in the clubs here? I've heard. 311 00:19:48.930 --> 00:19:52.009 Yeah, whenever I get like a text message or a DM from someone 312 00:19:52.049 --> 00:19:55.119 saying look your songs playing, it is makes me so excited. Well, 313 00:19:55.200 --> 00:19:57.960 thank you again so much for joining us here at Sax Siye and snacks. 314 00:19:59.079 --> 00:20:02.880 I will talk to you all soon. Hope everybody is staying safe and healthy 315 00:20:03.000 --> 00:20:07.000 and follow blare on social media and check out her new album very soon. 316 00:20:07.670 --> 00:20:12.950 By snacks. This episode of snack size is sponsored by twin cities gay scene, 317 00:20:14.269 --> 00:20:18.990 the online magazine for glbt events, happenings and culture in the twin cities 318 00:20:19.029 --> 00:20:23.339 area. Head on over to twin cities gay singecom to check out the BI 319 00:20:23.420 --> 00:20:27.740 weekly magazine and be sure to sign up for the weekly scene shot email blast 320 00:20:27.940 --> 00:20:33.420 for chances to win fabulous prizes. Once again, that's twin cities gay scenecom. 321 00:20:33.740 --> 00:20:36.289 Be Fabulous and be seen