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Aug. 25, 2020

"Wafflin' Around" with Taylor James

In this episode, Minneapolis based Drag Queen, Lala Luzious chats about mental health with Taylor James, host of “The Waffle Shop” Podcast.   Check out “The Waffle Shop” Podcast! Apple Podcasts: Spotify: Facebook: Twitter: Instagram: ...


In this episode, Minneapolis based Drag Queen, Lala Luzious chats about mental health with Taylor James, host of “The Waffle Shop” Podcast.   Check out “The Waffle Shop” Podcast! Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-waffle-shop/id1514646770 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/60C1ePAB4tZJkwpBMAQCib Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/waffleshoppod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/WaffleShopPod Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/waffleshoppodcast  Need another snack? Head on over to www.snacksizepodcast.com   If you are a new listener to Snack Size, we would love to hear from you! Don’t be afraid to say hello at lala@snacksizepodcast.com   Follow Snack Size: The Podcast on Twitter: @podcast_snack  Follow Lala on Instagram: @lalaluzious _______________________________ Intro and Interlude Music for "Snack Size"  is Foxistence (Instrumental) by DayFox https://soundcloud.com/dayfox

Transcript

WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.400 --> 00:00:05.080 Hey snacks, welcome to season two of snacks eyes, the podcast that will 2 00:00:05.080 --> 00:00:09.750 drag you into your most fabulous life. I'm your host, lava Lushes, 3 00:00:09.990 --> 00:00:13.910 also known as the snack of the twin cities, a drag queen that twirled 4 00:00:13.910 --> 00:00:18.230 her way into podcasting, and the rest is a dream come true, and 5 00:00:18.510 --> 00:00:24.899 that's exactly what this podcast is about, making your dreams happen for you fabulously. 6 00:00:25.420 --> 00:00:29.059 This season, we are continuing our journey in finding out what makes a 7 00:00:29.179 --> 00:00:33.899 happy and fulfilled life, going places we've never been before. Don't forget that, 8 00:00:34.020 --> 00:00:37.929 when it comes to your potential, the sky is the limit and it's 9 00:00:38.049 --> 00:00:41.409 never a bad time to be who you are. Get you a snack, 10 00:00:41.490 --> 00:00:55.759 because your fabulous life starts now. Hey snacks, welcome to season two of 11 00:00:55.880 --> 00:01:00.240 snacks eyes. I am so excited for the topics and the guests we are 12 00:01:00.320 --> 00:01:03.239 going to cover this season and, as always, I thank you for being 13 00:01:03.430 --> 00:01:07.549 on this journey with me. On this episode, I am going to bring 14 00:01:07.590 --> 00:01:10.870 on a guess and we are going to talk about mental health. I want 15 00:01:10.870 --> 00:01:15.430 to say that mental health is absolutely something that should be talked about. Speaking 16 00:01:15.469 --> 00:01:19.739 of about your mental health is an essential part of living a happy and fulfilled 17 00:01:19.780 --> 00:01:23.459 life. While I hope this episode starts a conversation in your life about men 18 00:01:23.659 --> 00:01:29.980 mental health, neither myself nor my guests are professionals. If you or someone 19 00:01:30.060 --> 00:01:34.530 you love is having a mental health crisis, please do not hesitate to get 20 00:01:34.569 --> 00:01:40.290 professional help. One resource is the substance abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, 21 00:01:40.689 --> 00:01:44.810 and they can be reached twenty four hours a day at one eight hundred six 22 00:01:45.010 --> 00:01:49.959 to to help. This service is free, confidential and they will hope you 23 00:01:49.040 --> 00:01:53.879 find help in your area. Again, that's one eight hundred six to to 24 00:01:55.439 --> 00:01:59.480 help. So my first guest for season two is actually my first friend in 25 00:01:59.560 --> 00:02:02.150 the podcasting world. He lives all the way in Coventry, England, and 26 00:02:02.349 --> 00:02:07.950 hosts a podcast called the waffle shop, which is focused on conversations about mental 27 00:02:07.989 --> 00:02:10.629 health. In addition to be in a rock star host, this guest knows 28 00:02:10.669 --> 00:02:15.460 how to party and loves his concerts. He's seen everyone from pitfull to eminem 29 00:02:15.580 --> 00:02:21.340 to beyonce. However, behind his huge smile, life has presented some really 30 00:02:21.419 --> 00:02:24.219 difficult challenges that he has had to overcome, and I want my listeners, 31 00:02:24.259 --> 00:02:29.819 who may be facing their own challenges to hear his story. Welcome to snack 32 00:02:29.939 --> 00:02:36.490 size. Mr Taylor James. Let's give him a call. Hi, Taylor, 33 00:02:36.530 --> 00:02:38.409 welcome to sack s eye. Thank you so much for having me. 34 00:02:40.330 --> 00:02:44.960 For those of you who don't know, Taylor gave me my international debut in 35 00:02:45.039 --> 00:02:49.719 the US on his podcast, the waffle shop podcast, which is one of 36 00:02:49.800 --> 00:02:53.000 my absolute favorite podcast and I hear it's doing really well over there. You're 37 00:02:53.080 --> 00:02:58.479 like charting and everything. Let's stop it, you red nose. Yeah, 38 00:02:58.949 --> 00:03:00.550 it's kind of bizarre, to be honest. I mean you were like the 39 00:03:00.590 --> 00:03:06.710 final guests on my first ever season of it and for me having someone you 40 00:03:06.830 --> 00:03:08.949 know like yourself, for you know, it was insane because if oh my 41 00:03:08.990 --> 00:03:14.300 God, this is incredible. Now I've got my first international guests, and 42 00:03:14.500 --> 00:03:19.699 then people started getting interested, people started kind of getting involved and then it's 43 00:03:19.780 --> 00:03:23.539 just kind of now turned into this kind of I don't even know, like 44 00:03:23.699 --> 00:03:27.770 it's I'm very proud of it, very, very proud of it. So, 45 00:03:28.129 --> 00:03:30.370 for a my listeners that haven't listened to the waffle shout, Tell Abou's 46 00:03:30.409 --> 00:03:34.449 a bit about your Shell and explain. We're having a waffle me and I 47 00:03:34.530 --> 00:03:37.770 have to explain, because I think everyone thinks when they hit the waffle shop 48 00:03:37.849 --> 00:03:45.159 that immediately I either sell waffles or I make them. But in the UK 49 00:03:45.400 --> 00:03:50.080 we have this kind of slang term when someone's talking to much or they're kind 50 00:03:50.120 --> 00:03:53.360 of just, you know, talking a lot of rubbish. We tend to 51 00:03:53.439 --> 00:03:55.550 say like old, they're waffling, they're waffling on. So that, for 52 00:03:55.669 --> 00:04:00.389 me, especially if I've had a beer, is something that I tend to 53 00:04:00.469 --> 00:04:02.430 do. I could waffle all day, every day, no matter who you 54 00:04:02.550 --> 00:04:05.590 are. And then the shop part came to me. When you know, 55 00:04:05.830 --> 00:04:09.710 the shop is somewhere where you go to get your necessities. It goes, 56 00:04:09.750 --> 00:04:11.939 you know, you get what you need from it. So it was just 57 00:04:12.060 --> 00:04:15.379 like the waffle shops. So seen what I've seen a view from social media, 58 00:04:15.420 --> 00:04:18.860 because we've never met. You seem to be such a very, very 59 00:04:18.939 --> 00:04:24.449 happy person. You're a very vibrant life. It's awesome. How did you 60 00:04:24.649 --> 00:04:28.970 arrive and choosing mental health as the topic for your podcast? So I think 61 00:04:29.370 --> 00:04:31.850 exactly what you kind of just said then about like you know, like on 62 00:04:32.009 --> 00:04:34.930 social media it looks like I'm very happy and you know, I've got this 63 00:04:35.009 --> 00:04:39.199 virant lifestyle. Like I feel like social media does that, you know, 64 00:04:39.279 --> 00:04:43.759 like you you see what the person wants you to see. But I never 65 00:04:43.839 --> 00:04:49.000 understood mental health. I didn't ever experience it up until three years ago when 66 00:04:49.079 --> 00:04:53.790 I nearly lost my mom to an operation gone wrong. In a matter of 67 00:04:53.949 --> 00:04:59.189 hours, my whole life was no traumatically change direction. You know, I 68 00:04:59.230 --> 00:05:00.709 didn't know whether my mom was going to live. I had to become a 69 00:05:00.709 --> 00:05:04.430 father figure to my younger sister, had all these responsibilities like, you know, 70 00:05:04.629 --> 00:05:09.019 owning a house, you know, keeping my career go in and basically 71 00:05:09.579 --> 00:05:13.579 I'd slowly but surely, with being in and out of hospital and trying to 72 00:05:13.620 --> 00:05:16.860 keep everything going, I was slowly running myself down into the ground and then 73 00:05:17.300 --> 00:05:20.649 in January of this year it kind of took me to a place that I 74 00:05:20.930 --> 00:05:24.810 hope to God I never go back to because I just I just didn't want 75 00:05:24.850 --> 00:05:28.930 to live that life anymore. For me, I couldn't see a way out 76 00:05:28.970 --> 00:05:31.129 of it. That that's the head space that I was in. That's curious. 77 00:05:31.170 --> 00:05:34.490 How is your mom doing now? So she's doing great, like she's 78 00:05:34.610 --> 00:05:39.600 obviously she's in a rehabilitation home and she's and in how to kind of like 79 00:05:39.920 --> 00:05:44.920 walk, talk, user hands and now you know she's had coronavirus, which 80 00:05:45.040 --> 00:05:47.959 was fun, but she's beat that again, like she's incredibly strong, resilient 81 00:05:48.040 --> 00:05:51.430 woman and, you know, it's where I take a lot of my inspiration 82 00:05:51.470 --> 00:05:55.870 from. You know, I was experiencing, you know, anxiety, I 83 00:05:55.910 --> 00:05:59.629 did. I'd never even heard of like post traumatic stress, you know, 84 00:05:59.990 --> 00:06:02.589 anything like that, until I reached out and got the help that I needed. 85 00:06:02.949 --> 00:06:08.220 And then, obviously that's where the podcast kind of started, because I 86 00:06:08.379 --> 00:06:12.339 was having these therapy sessions to get me, you know, to process kind 87 00:06:12.339 --> 00:06:15.259 of like what had happened. And then covid happened, so I could no 88 00:06:15.379 --> 00:06:18.250 longer have these therapy sessions. You know, the therapist that I was so 89 00:06:18.529 --> 00:06:23.449 lucky to get, you know, went into lockdown. So I either stop 90 00:06:23.769 --> 00:06:28.050 and go backwards or I keep talking about it and getting things off my chest. 91 00:06:28.170 --> 00:06:31.209 And now I'm sat here, you know, six months on, feeling 92 00:06:31.250 --> 00:06:33.759 like a completely different person. You know, I get to speak to some 93 00:06:33.920 --> 00:06:38.839 incredible people, you know, about their own journeys, their own mental health, 94 00:06:38.879 --> 00:06:41.319 and it's making me feel like, well, okay, well, you 95 00:06:41.399 --> 00:06:44.480 know, I'm okay for feeling like this. I'm not kind of beating myself 96 00:06:44.560 --> 00:06:46.709 up, I'm not kind of, you know, feeling like I'm the only 97 00:06:46.829 --> 00:06:50.509 person who's dealing with this when there's so many people out there from all different 98 00:06:50.550 --> 00:06:54.709 walks of life and you know, we're all experience in the same things and 99 00:06:55.069 --> 00:06:58.670 it's changed my life. You would say that in January that was like a 100 00:06:58.709 --> 00:07:01.139 rap badom period for you and life. Hundred percent. I didn't see a 101 00:07:01.180 --> 00:07:05.300 way out in January. When did you start seeing a way out? It 102 00:07:05.420 --> 00:07:09.300 was when I reached out to one of my best friends, I reached out 103 00:07:09.300 --> 00:07:11.980 to my little sister, and I was just like, look on something, 104 00:07:12.060 --> 00:07:15.540 Ne's happened, like I'm I will find a joke and anything. That's my 105 00:07:15.660 --> 00:07:17.689 biggest mechanism is like I will bum a bit of a joker when it comes 106 00:07:17.730 --> 00:07:20.889 to stuff like that. And then it got to a stage where I wasn't 107 00:07:20.930 --> 00:07:24.850 even laughing, I wasn't joking, like I just I was kind of dead 108 00:07:24.889 --> 00:07:27.290 behind the eyes. But yeah, it was. It was for sure a 109 00:07:28.329 --> 00:07:31.360 rock bottom moment. There seems to be a stigma about talking about mental health, 110 00:07:31.360 --> 00:07:35.439 especially among men, and I what I noticed is that on your podcast 111 00:07:35.560 --> 00:07:40.720 you interview a lot of milk guests. On your show. Was Mental Health 112 00:07:40.759 --> 00:07:43.319 at one point hard for you to talk about, and do you find that 113 00:07:43.439 --> 00:07:46.350 it's hard to talk about among other men. You'd be the interviewed or, 114 00:07:46.389 --> 00:07:47.990 you know, you have US friends, anything like that. Yeah, I 115 00:07:48.110 --> 00:07:51.670 mean even now, like with my, you know, my male friends, 116 00:07:51.709 --> 00:07:56.829 like it's something that we don't really talk about and it's kind of being a 117 00:07:56.949 --> 00:07:59.699 man, you expected to be have this like, you know, this kind 118 00:07:59.740 --> 00:08:01.980 of bravado, like everything's okay, I'm the man of the House. So 119 00:08:03.100 --> 00:08:05.579 that was like an act edder, like added an extra layer of like Oh, 120 00:08:05.660 --> 00:08:09.939 you know, like responsibility, like I can't look upset. It's it 121 00:08:09.060 --> 00:08:15.209 doesn't look good if I cry and it's all like sorry if it's wearing. 122 00:08:15.250 --> 00:08:18.250 But it's all bullshit. It's like you can't go through life pretending everything is 123 00:08:18.329 --> 00:08:22.009 okay. Do you feel more secure in your mask, let any now that 124 00:08:22.089 --> 00:08:26.160 you have opened up? See, I hate this quest kind of question because 125 00:08:26.160 --> 00:08:31.600 I was raised by women, so it's quite strange for me to kind of 126 00:08:33.000 --> 00:08:37.759 feel masculine, if that's fair to say. Yeah, because I've never known 127 00:08:37.799 --> 00:08:41.710 any different. But it wasn't until kind of like the podcast and seeing like 128 00:08:41.789 --> 00:08:45.750 the way, you know, like male members of my family of kind of 129 00:08:45.870 --> 00:08:48.950 behaved with, you know, watching their sister go through what they have and 130 00:08:48.190 --> 00:08:52.110 I just feel like, would you know what? I'm so grateful I was 131 00:08:52.470 --> 00:08:56.220 raised by women because I have this kind of wide view of how, like 132 00:08:56.340 --> 00:09:00.419 the world works and stuff like that. But I see it in my friends 133 00:09:00.500 --> 00:09:01.220 like Oh, you know, I've got friends who are like, you know, 134 00:09:01.379 --> 00:09:05.059 football players, they you know, Avid Jim Goers. You know, 135 00:09:05.139 --> 00:09:07.419 there's this kind of like it's almost like an act, because then when you 136 00:09:07.539 --> 00:09:11.570 get them like one on one and they're very much like, oh, yeah, 137 00:09:11.570 --> 00:09:13.250 you know, I don't agree with this, I don't like this, 138 00:09:13.370 --> 00:09:15.970 I you know, this makes me feel uncomfortable. You know, we're living 139 00:09:15.970 --> 00:09:18.409 in this whole generation of like everyone she's trying to breathe be someone else. 140 00:09:20.049 --> 00:09:20.929 I mean, I'm probably saying that to the wrong person, Eider, when 141 00:09:20.929 --> 00:09:26.639 I'm talking to a drag queen, but in the general sense, with all 142 00:09:26.759 --> 00:09:31.440 the interviews that you've done, what are things that you learned about mental health 143 00:09:31.440 --> 00:09:35.200 that you didn't know before having this badcast? One thing that completely taught me 144 00:09:35.320 --> 00:09:39.509 by surprise is that everyone, at some part of their lives, no matter 145 00:09:39.590 --> 00:09:46.190 how old they are, will all face a mental health challenge or issue. 146 00:09:46.669 --> 00:09:48.350 Some of them, you know, don't realizing that they I mean I didn't 147 00:09:48.350 --> 00:09:52.470 realize I was having panic attacks and anxiety. I just thought it was like 148 00:09:52.750 --> 00:09:56.100 I had a dodgy stomach, you know, like my hands were like sweaty, 149 00:09:56.340 --> 00:09:58.460 like you know. There was there's so many different factors and it wasn't 150 00:09:58.460 --> 00:10:05.220 until I actually educated myself around mental health that was slowly started to understand why 151 00:10:05.259 --> 00:10:09.409 I was behave in a certain way. I think the biggest thing that's missing 152 00:10:09.529 --> 00:10:13.090 from mental health is the education, and that's the biggest but if I think 153 00:10:13.090 --> 00:10:15.370 it's the biggest problem in anything, you know, whether it's, you know, 154 00:10:15.850 --> 00:10:18.250 race, gender, anything like that, it's the lack of education. 155 00:10:20.009 --> 00:10:24.559 Well, I think that this is a particularly under educated subject for the general 156 00:10:24.679 --> 00:10:28.399 public because no one wants to talk about it. Race, we are finally 157 00:10:28.440 --> 00:10:31.559 getting into conversation. Gender, we are finally getting into conversations, but there 158 00:10:31.600 --> 00:10:37.509 seems to be something about mental health that people won't talk about. We will 159 00:10:37.509 --> 00:10:41.950 go out of our way to fix ourselves cosmetically, but like our most important 160 00:10:41.990 --> 00:10:46.029 part of our body, which is our brain, really will just let go 161 00:10:46.389 --> 00:10:50.419 and we ignore things and it's very important to talk about it's very important to 162 00:10:50.899 --> 00:10:54.379 have podcasts like yours, where the education is out there, and even if 163 00:10:54.419 --> 00:11:00.940 it's not just the education, just witnessing people having discussions about it promotes so 164 00:11:01.139 --> 00:11:03.529 much positivity and health for people. Even from when, you know, I 165 00:11:03.649 --> 00:11:07.970 had you on the show when you were talking about any like confidence and like 166 00:11:07.129 --> 00:11:11.330 what drag has done for you. And there is so much by just listening. 167 00:11:11.889 --> 00:11:16.610 We're living in this generation where people are talking at each other but no 168 00:11:16.730 --> 00:11:20.360 one's listen. In I never in a millionaires expected to speaking to yourself, 169 00:11:20.360 --> 00:11:24.480 you know, a drag queen from Minnesota, but from what myself and even 170 00:11:24.559 --> 00:11:28.120 my dad took from that conversation was that like be yourself, you know, 171 00:11:28.559 --> 00:11:31.120 you know, get yourself out your comfort zone. You know, there's so 172 00:11:31.159 --> 00:11:37.110 many different lessons that you can learn just by listening. What are your goals 173 00:11:37.230 --> 00:11:39.789 and dreams? I think it sounds really teasy block. I just want to 174 00:11:39.870 --> 00:11:46.509 see my mom and my sister happy, and then my goal for myself is 175 00:11:46.629 --> 00:11:50.059 just to kind of find what makes me happy. We're living in this hole 176 00:11:50.179 --> 00:11:52.460 again generation of like, you know, you'd turn this age and should have 177 00:11:52.500 --> 00:11:56.419 a house, she should have a child, you should have this, that 178 00:11:56.500 --> 00:12:00.419 another, and I'm just not interested in that. So I'm on this bit 179 00:12:00.460 --> 00:12:03.450 of a mission and the minute, you know, with the podcasts and you 180 00:12:03.529 --> 00:12:07.649 know various other aspects of my life that I'm just trying to find what actually 181 00:12:07.690 --> 00:12:11.769 makes me happy. Were we call it over here, is the American dream 182 00:12:11.889 --> 00:12:13.809 with the House and the kids and the white picked fence. Yeah, and 183 00:12:15.529 --> 00:12:20.600 that cookie cutter dream isn't for everybody and it's so ingrained in you as you 184 00:12:20.720 --> 00:12:22.320 grow up and as you develop in the world that that's what you want, 185 00:12:22.600 --> 00:12:28.720 and I want to encourage people to feel the security to challenge that and go 186 00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:31.190 find from definitely happy. The other thing I want people to notice is that 187 00:12:31.590 --> 00:12:35.350 you are definitely doing something about it. So many people say I want more 188 00:12:35.870 --> 00:12:39.429 and I, you know, want this, but then if they never actually 189 00:12:39.509 --> 00:12:43.299 do it. I watched your park cast grow from just something really small to 190 00:12:43.620 --> 00:12:48.259 charting on self help and, you know, getting attention from all types of 191 00:12:48.379 --> 00:12:52.059 UK celebrities and it's awesome and it happened really quickly, just like it did 192 00:12:52.139 --> 00:12:54.460 for me, you know, and so that really it's just that small step 193 00:12:54.820 --> 00:12:58.730 of taking like that, one tiny step toward your dream, and then the 194 00:12:58.809 --> 00:13:01.610 rest will really fall yeah place, and I don't want people to be afraid 195 00:13:01.610 --> 00:13:03.529 to do that, but I think you're a huge example of that, and 196 00:13:03.649 --> 00:13:07.450 it's you were probably the first person I'd actually something clicked with the podcast. 197 00:13:07.490 --> 00:13:09.250 I was like, Oh my God, okay, well, I need to 198 00:13:09.929 --> 00:13:13.279 you know, all these people like I was scared to reach out to I 199 00:13:13.399 --> 00:13:16.360 was scared to kind of take control of the podcast, I was scared to 200 00:13:16.600 --> 00:13:18.960 put myself out there more, and now I'm kind of taking those risks, 201 00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:22.559 I'm taking their those steps to get out of my comfort zone, and I'm 202 00:13:22.639 --> 00:13:26.629 seeing nothing but positive result. You know, there is nothing to feel bad 203 00:13:26.909 --> 00:13:31.470 in wanting better for yourself. You need to take that first step and that 204 00:13:31.590 --> 00:13:33.389 is one thing that I learned from you. I want to talk about something 205 00:13:33.470 --> 00:13:37.830 that wasn't necessarily on the list of questions, but I know that when you 206 00:13:37.990 --> 00:13:41.139 started the podcast you were with other people and then you found success and they 207 00:13:41.139 --> 00:13:46.059 were jealous. How have you felt with that? It's you know, it 208 00:13:46.220 --> 00:13:52.299 happens when you are doing well, people aren't always happy for you, and 209 00:13:52.419 --> 00:13:54.809 I'm just curious because I know it's a thing that really can affect your mental 210 00:13:54.850 --> 00:14:00.649 health. How are you dealing with that? Yeah, I started a podcast 211 00:14:00.850 --> 00:14:03.769 with a friend of mine who is still very much a friend of mine, 212 00:14:03.889 --> 00:14:09.009 so I had no control hole in the early days of the podcast of what 213 00:14:09.169 --> 00:14:11.720 was going on. You know what we were talking about, you know, 214 00:14:11.919 --> 00:14:16.039 anything like that. And it wasn't until I started, you know, gaining 215 00:14:16.200 --> 00:14:20.679 confidence and kind of, know, understanding my own self worth and what made 216 00:14:20.840 --> 00:14:26.029 me kind of happy that something was born from my idea that was again being 217 00:14:26.149 --> 00:14:28.429 taken out of my control. And then it got to got to a stage 218 00:14:28.509 --> 00:14:31.950 where I it was gained in momentum and I was like, okay, well, 219 00:14:33.149 --> 00:14:35.870 my confidence was growing. I was like, you know what, you've 220 00:14:35.909 --> 00:14:39.100 actually got a talent. This is the first time in thirty years I felt 221 00:14:39.100 --> 00:14:43.220 like I've actually got a talent. That's and I was not going to let 222 00:14:43.340 --> 00:14:46.860 someone else kind of dictate to me. I've lived after the past three years 223 00:14:46.899 --> 00:14:48.980 old. I've been dictated to, you know, is by doctors, by 224 00:14:50.059 --> 00:14:52.580 family members, like I should be doing this, you know, your mom's 225 00:14:52.580 --> 00:14:54.490 going to die, this, that and the other, and this is probably 226 00:14:54.529 --> 00:15:00.289 the most headstrong and confident I've ever been to say no, no, that's 227 00:15:00.289 --> 00:15:03.409 not right for me. You know, one you're not going to kind of 228 00:15:03.450 --> 00:15:07.679 push me into that version of myself again and to I'm not going to allow 229 00:15:07.759 --> 00:15:11.240 my mental health to be affected by other people's behaviors. It's it's going to 230 00:15:11.320 --> 00:15:15.799 hear you talk about this because I just see so much of myself in your 231 00:15:15.879 --> 00:15:18.919 story and really finding what I love. And you know, for me it 232 00:15:18.000 --> 00:15:22.070 happens to be dragging. People tend to look at that and say, oh, 233 00:15:22.110 --> 00:15:24.990 that's so different and that's so out there, but really the moral of 234 00:15:24.070 --> 00:15:28.710 the story is if you are doing what you love, you are going to 235 00:15:28.789 --> 00:15:31.789 feel confident about it. You were going to be able to meet those decisions 236 00:15:31.830 --> 00:15:33.710 and that's what you're going for. It doesn't matter what it is, as 237 00:15:33.750 --> 00:15:37.059 long as it feels that way for you, then you know you're on the 238 00:15:37.100 --> 00:15:39.779 right path exactly. And I mean you mentioned like the you know, the 239 00:15:39.779 --> 00:15:43.379 jealousy word. It's like I've for want. I've never really understood it because 240 00:15:43.379 --> 00:15:46.980 I feel like if you want something that bad, then you will work your 241 00:15:46.019 --> 00:15:50.169 ass off to get it, you know, and it kind of got to 242 00:15:50.250 --> 00:15:54.049 a stage where people want to see you do good, but not better than 243 00:15:54.090 --> 00:15:58.450 them. I don't know if you are religious. I am, and I 244 00:15:58.490 --> 00:16:00.330 don't think I've ever even said that on this podcast before. So there's that. 245 00:16:02.049 --> 00:16:04.360 But one thing I learned from a young age is that what God has 246 00:16:04.519 --> 00:16:08.000 for me is for me and what God has for you is for you, 247 00:16:08.519 --> 00:16:14.000 and those two things don't necessarily the relate to each other. So in thinking 248 00:16:14.039 --> 00:16:17.320 about life that way and that when I have success it's for me and of 249 00:16:17.360 --> 00:16:19.269 course I want to share it, or if someone else's success, being happy 250 00:16:19.269 --> 00:16:22.590 for them doesn't really affect what's going to happen to you, I've been able 251 00:16:22.629 --> 00:16:26.990 to allow my haters to motivate me. In fact, one of the reasons 252 00:16:26.990 --> 00:16:30.350 I think this podcast is so successful is because I have a lot of love 253 00:16:30.509 --> 00:16:33.460 here, but I also have a lot of people who kind of want to 254 00:16:33.580 --> 00:16:37.700 see me fail. So they will still click and I still yet for everyone. 255 00:16:37.659 --> 00:16:42.379 Is One thing that I find really funny because you know, obviously with 256 00:16:42.580 --> 00:16:45.940 the various apps and stuff that you use, like you can see who kind 257 00:16:45.940 --> 00:16:49.090 of it, who's listening, who's there, and it's just sometimes you're a 258 00:16:49.169 --> 00:16:52.210 love will. You won't reach out and say like Oh, you know, 259 00:16:52.450 --> 00:16:55.769 I'm loving this, blah, blah blah, but I know you're listening. 260 00:16:56.250 --> 00:17:00.889 This is going to sound so cheesy, but this is a quote by Dumbaldore 261 00:17:00.049 --> 00:17:03.680 from Harry Potter and it said that takes a lot of courage to stand up 262 00:17:03.680 --> 00:17:07.839 to your enemies, but hall of a lot more courage to stand up to 263 00:17:07.839 --> 00:17:11.640 your friends, and that it's very true. So, thinking of all the 264 00:17:11.799 --> 00:17:15.990 amazing guests that you've had on your podcast, I know some of them you 265 00:17:15.150 --> 00:17:18.349 have seen in gigs. What are something you learned from a guess on your 266 00:17:18.390 --> 00:17:23.309 podcast that you found the most profound? Okay, that is a brilliant question. 267 00:17:23.349 --> 00:17:27.630 I think what I learned and it was from this. It's one of 268 00:17:27.630 --> 00:17:32.980 my favorite singers and named Shingy. She's from the band called the noisettes in 269 00:17:33.059 --> 00:17:36.380 the UK. This is my favorite bit review. This is my favorite. 270 00:17:36.500 --> 00:17:40.460 Oh my God, Litch, I cannot tell you I'm I don't even think 271 00:17:40.460 --> 00:17:42.339 I should probably say this, but like, I nearly probably wet myself about 272 00:17:42.339 --> 00:17:48.569 three times story in that interview I was so excited. But what I took 273 00:17:48.650 --> 00:17:52.970 from that is like, you know, you see all these like incredible songs, 274 00:17:53.210 --> 00:17:56.049 you know this, that near that, and you think you know that 275 00:17:56.170 --> 00:17:59.119 these, you know, these incredible artists have. You know, they have 276 00:17:59.240 --> 00:18:00.960 it made, they have, you know, the record contracts they have, 277 00:18:02.960 --> 00:18:06.920 you know, all this incredible kind of lifestyle, but deep down, like 278 00:18:07.039 --> 00:18:11.079 they're still feeling like what we're feeling, like the anxiety before they step out 279 00:18:11.079 --> 00:18:14.269 on stage. You know, we spoke about like her mom being in the 280 00:18:14.349 --> 00:18:18.589 similar situation that my mom was in and, you know, with you know, 281 00:18:18.710 --> 00:18:22.750 with a brain injury, and I was just like, you know what, 282 00:18:22.950 --> 00:18:25.630 never in a million years that I think I would be set across, 283 00:18:25.869 --> 00:18:30.460 you know, on zoom talking about this to one a little bit of like 284 00:18:30.539 --> 00:18:33.299 an idol to me, and all I took from it. Well, I 285 00:18:33.380 --> 00:18:36.859 took a lot of stuff from it, but it was, you know, 286 00:18:37.220 --> 00:18:40.579 we're all human, we're all feeling these emotions. Were all, you know, 287 00:18:40.660 --> 00:18:42.569 we're all going through the same things. Just inspires me with the podcast 288 00:18:42.609 --> 00:18:45.369 because, you know, it's come from such a painful, horrible part of 289 00:18:45.410 --> 00:18:49.289 my life, but it's now turned into one of the things I'm most proud 290 00:18:49.329 --> 00:18:53.369 of. There's a lot to be said about turning beauty into pain. I 291 00:18:53.529 --> 00:18:59.440 feel like it's a lot of the reason why I got into drag was because 292 00:18:59.480 --> 00:19:03.799 I spent so many years insecure with myself and listening to other people put me 293 00:19:03.920 --> 00:19:07.519 down. It was like I almost had to start being someone else to even 294 00:19:07.599 --> 00:19:11.269 like get the feel confidence or beauty felt like, and so I think that 295 00:19:11.390 --> 00:19:15.670 there's beauty in every situation, even no matter how illful of it, and 296 00:19:15.789 --> 00:19:18.430 just have to find it. And I've got a story for you that I 297 00:19:18.470 --> 00:19:22.109 don't think I've actually ever told you, but I saw it a few posts 298 00:19:22.150 --> 00:19:23.420 that you went. It was like a throwback to when you went to see 299 00:19:23.460 --> 00:19:30.539 beyonce yes and she bought me a pizza. Once she bought you a pizza, 300 00:19:30.819 --> 00:19:36.339 she brought me a pizza like about to Represa. My ex girlfriend was 301 00:19:36.380 --> 00:19:40.930 a huge beyond fan and I got managed to get tickets for this TV special 302 00:19:41.009 --> 00:19:45.410 shy she was doing in London and as we were waiting to go in them, 303 00:19:45.009 --> 00:19:49.809 we're in this little room and her sister came out with pizzas and were 304 00:19:49.890 --> 00:19:52.839 like, all these are from the carters, thank you for waiting. Oh 305 00:19:53.599 --> 00:19:59.799 my God, I'm so jealous. That's why I've never thought I'd bring it 306 00:19:59.880 --> 00:20:00.799 up, but I thought, you know what, though, like we're both 307 00:20:00.839 --> 00:20:03.440 be on safe fans. I I've got it. I've got a shared a 308 00:20:03.480 --> 00:20:07.349 little. Oh my goodness. So, even though this completely out topic, 309 00:20:07.390 --> 00:20:12.470 there's always time for beyonce, so thank you for sharing. I was an 310 00:20:12.470 --> 00:20:18.230 asked what are three things that every person must do to maintain good mental health. 311 00:20:18.390 --> 00:20:21.500 So reaching out is one. What words? What are two other things 312 00:20:21.539 --> 00:20:23.579 that you've done or you think other people should do to maintain their health? 313 00:20:25.180 --> 00:20:27.819 I think definitely number one, reach out if you're facing any kind of mental 314 00:20:27.859 --> 00:20:32.579 struggle, anything like that. Reach out, because a problem shared is a 315 00:20:32.619 --> 00:20:37.849 problem halved in my eyes. Number two is surround yourself with good people, 316 00:20:37.450 --> 00:20:42.650 and I cannot stress this enough, like surround yourself with good people that are 317 00:20:42.730 --> 00:20:45.930 on the same wavelength, that want to see you do well. And then 318 00:20:45.930 --> 00:20:49.480 the third one, I think, is to just be honest, like, 319 00:20:49.640 --> 00:20:53.319 if you're not feeling it today or Joe War, at least you got up. 320 00:20:55.240 --> 00:20:57.920 Just be proud of the little winds. That's what life is, though, 321 00:20:59.039 --> 00:21:00.759 isn't it? I think it's a bunch of little winds. Of course 322 00:21:00.839 --> 00:21:03.430 it is. And you know, and I think it's when you start to 323 00:21:03.509 --> 00:21:08.509 appreciate those little winds. They they build up into big wins and then taking 324 00:21:08.549 --> 00:21:11.670 a step back then like, O'd you know what, look at what I've 325 00:21:11.750 --> 00:21:15.470 produced, look what I'm capable of, look what you know I've achieved. 326 00:21:17.150 --> 00:21:19.500 So where can we follow you on social media and where can we find the 327 00:21:19.539 --> 00:21:26.539 waffle shop podcast? So I'm on Instagram, facebook, instagrams, where I 328 00:21:26.619 --> 00:21:30.500 do a lot more off covicy, the interaction. So I'm at waffle shop 329 00:21:30.859 --> 00:21:37.769 podcast on Instagram and you can find me on spotify, apple music and to 330 00:21:37.890 --> 00:21:41.329 search for the waffle shop podcast on I'm Bo. I'm hoping it POPs up, 331 00:21:41.609 --> 00:21:45.170 but yeah, if you ever fancy coming for a waffle, just drop 332 00:21:45.289 --> 00:21:47.559 me here. DM Well, tellor, thank you so much for coming on 333 00:21:47.640 --> 00:21:49.559 sack sighs, and if you want to listen to Taylor's podcast, I will 334 00:21:49.559 --> 00:21:52.960 leave a link in the show notes. Thank you so much for doing this. 335 00:21:53.200 --> 00:21:56.039 Thank you so much for having me. I'd love hearing from you. 336 00:21:56.160 --> 00:22:00.160 So it's been an absolute pleasure. All right, until next time. By 337 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:04.150 snacks. Hey Snack, I hope you enjoyed this episode. Snack size podcast 338 00:22:04.269 --> 00:22:10.230 is sponsored by twin cities gay scene, the online magazine for events and culture 339 00:22:10.509 --> 00:22:15.019 happening in the twin cities area. Check out my biweekly editorial snack scene at 340 00:22:15.259 --> 00:22:22.500 www that twin cities gay scenecom. And for more fun with this podcast, 341 00:22:22.859 --> 00:22:29.019 head on over to www dot snack size podcastcom to leave a review and follow 342 00:22:29.099 --> 00:22:33.329 me on my social media. Until next time, go be fabulous